Can this really destroy a relationship?
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Can this really destroy a relationship?
| Wed, 05-21-2008 - 2:48pm |
I have a general dating/relationship question. First off, a man that has ED must have some emotional issues that he gets knowing that he has this, right? Well, what do you think men really think about this? Does it prevent them from wanting a serious relationship? Does it make them withdrawl? Not want to get close to

Gal_princess1111,
If your partner has ED, he could possibly have some self-esteem issues. If you are honest with him and it is NOT a big deal to you, then any reassurance on your part can only help.
He may have some ED issues and then when he is intimate with you, feels "pressured to perform" which compounds the issue.
If you honestly dont have a problem with his ED and are able to be supportive, loving, and encouraging, then a relationship is certainly possible.
You may have to have more foreplay on him(i.e. manual stimulation of his penis, licking it, etc) than you might otherwise.
You dont mention if he has been seen by a physician but if this is a new symptom he certainly should get checked out by a doctor. Certain medications can cause ED as well as high blood pressure.
If he has been checked out and this is a known problem, by being supportive, loving, and encouraging you can have a good relationship.
FG
Welcome to the board, gal_princess.
Guys do tend to get down when they have issues with ED, especially if they have issues on several occasions. Assuming this is a guy that you're in a relationship with, you didn't mention if you and he have discussed what's going on.
When my DH and I first became intimate, he had some problems with ED. He had a lot of emotional baggage from his first marriage, and it held him back in a lot of ways. I never let it be a big deal. There's so much more to sex and intimacy than an erect penis, and within a short time, it was far behind us.
About 10 years after that, he started having problems with his heart and went on beta blockers. He also got a virus (EBV), and that took a real toll on him. Our relationship wasn't at it's highest point either. At any rate, he developed problems with ED again and his doctor gave him a prescription for Viagra.
Over the past year, our sex life has taken on a whole new dynamic. His heart has been doing better too (probably because he's gotten a bit healthier), and he has stopped taking his beta blockers. I won't say he never has an issue with ED, especially if he's stressed or overly tired, but in general, it's gone enough that he hasn't needed to use Viagra in what seems like forever.
If your guy has problems often, I would encourage him to see his doctor. He may have an underlying medical condition, but really, any number of things can cause ED. He may be able to take medications that are helpful too.
As far as a relationship with him ... ED can be frustrating for both of you, but it doesn't mean that you can't have a satisfying relationship and work around the issue.