Can the vagina be smaller?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
Can the vagina be smaller?
21
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 2:36am
I have had sex with 5 partners total. My first partner expressed surprise when I lost my virginity because he said I was not very "tight". I am a petite woman in good health but this complex I have about the size of my vagina has caused me to refrain from having a boyfriend for several years now.

It seems to help just a little bit if I can not get too excited because then I tend to get very ,very lubricated and that makes it all the more slippery- dryness feels a little tighter. Of course the dryness is not very stimuating for me and normally only happens if sex occurs for more than 20 minutes. I get so excited about the anticipation but wind up feeling not much sensation.

I had one partner (my last one) who was not very long but was quite thick- this was the absolute best sex of my life but I think he was exceptional and it may be hard to find another man like him. There were even had times with him when it felt too loose.

So,I went to two different GYN's. They did an exam and said it felt like my vagina was very normal in size- nothing can be done but to try the kegal excercises. I have been doing those faithfully for several months.

I was just wondering if there are people out there that experience this issue? What do you do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 7:50am
My guess is that you must be "larger than average" and sure that you'd be "acceptable". I can't believe that it wouldn't bother you or any other man if a woman questioned you, and then said, "oh, sorry, you're not big enough to satisfy me"! That wouldn't be crude, or brash, that would be ignorant.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 8:17am
Of course there are variations in sizes, of the vagina, and of the penis. Some men have a small "flaccid" penis that can grow tremendously when erect...and men with a large "flaccid" penis that doesn't grow at all, it just gets hard.

Most women's vaginas, no matter what the "size", are closed tight when not "in use", and when aroused, the muscles relax to allow a penis to enter. Some women probably have muscles that relax more easily, or are more easily aroused than others. There is also the lubrication.....some women produce copious amounts, others produce little or none. If a woman is extremely wet, there will be less "friction" and therefore less feeling for both parties involved.

For women, since there's not much feeling in the vagina anyway....it's not as big a problem as it might be for her partner. But, since intercourse is only ONE part of sex, to reject a person based only on their vaginal or penile size doesn't make sense. Not if you're looking for a good person to have a relationship with. If it's casual sex that you want, and "feelings" aren't involved.....then go for the big ones. The hard thing about that is that unless you literally check it out, you'll never know until the "moment of truth". A guy that's 6'6" can have a very small penis, and a guy that's 5'6" can have a huge one.

I was watching a TV show about plastic surgeons the other day, and believe it or not, a male plastic surgeon was asking another male plastic surgeon to do liposuction over his pubic bone, because he felt it was too "fat" and made his penis look too small. The other one said......"mine isn't for 'show'.....it's for 'grow'". I guess as plastic surgeons, they're much more in tune with "looks" than most men would be. The ability to use it, and every other tool they have is more important than "look" in most women's estimation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2003
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 10:21am
If size is an important issue for you, it's an important issue. There's nothing wrong with having a preference.

There are a couple of forums on-line I've come across that cater to the more well endowed. Google the words large penis support group and you'll find them. Like everywhere else on-line, I'm sure there are people that aren't completely honest. I don't post there, but I sometimes enjoy (and envy) some of their stories.

Some of them may appreciate you more than you know. Although something the size of a baby can pass through a vagina, it doesn't make it enjoyable for a woman to deal with a guy that big.

I'm a wee bit on the thicker side of average, but I find this position to be the tighest sensation for me:

http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/sex/no/articles/0,,544153_633458-6,00.html

As far as excercises, I've heard kegelmastsers are good. Do a Google search for "onyx egg" and vagina. Some people swear by it.

Lastly, I've seen the singles ads on the personals (back in my single days I did glance one in a while) where women ask for men who were more ample. Nothing wrong with having a preference.


Edited 9/9/2004 10:25 am ET ET by muttley44

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 11:08am

You don't think asking would be completely arrogant and rude?


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 11:34am
I’m know that I am the owner of an extremely roomy vagina since every one of my OBGyns, previous BFs and husband have commented on it and the fact that I can easily accept a really huge penis or dildo. However, I would never consider asking a man his size to see if we are compatible (and would hope that a man would never ask a woman if she was roomy or tight…what a date killer!). While my husbands penis is huge (no, I did not marry him for that reason!), all the other men I’ve had sex with were average in size. While they commented on how large I was, I never got the impression that it was a problem. In fact, a couple of the guys thought it was a real turn-on. If I needed a little more stimulation with these guys I would try different positions or bring my legs close together. In addition, I do Kegals all the time and it really hasn’t made any difference in my case. Bottom line is that some guys may like a tighter vagina…but lots of guys seem to like a roomier feel as well. In addition, for those times when you really want a full feeling, there are a number of extra large dildos that will work nicely! Enjoy who you are and the significant other in your life will enjoy you as well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 2:56pm
Well, you're wrong again. My take on the situation is a simple one. I can't please everyone -- it's just the way it goes. And the sooner I find out I'm not what they want, the better. That way I can move on an she can move on.

I thought about this a bit more and as long as a women was tactful about what she was asking, I don't think I'd be offened by anything she asked.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 4:10pm
You have more than one choice, you can either search for your preference/standards, or look past them. In your search, you will most likely pass up many good men and then even if you do find a great man with larger penis, your vagina may be too large for him. For me, a man is not his penis(even though he may think he is) and I would hope that a man wouldn't put too much onto my vagina either. Why? Because nothing in life is guaranteed. So if it means THAT much, so much that someone would toss me away because of it, it'll probably mean MORE if I lose it. Remember, YOU can change the way you think about what's important and acceptable to you. We all change.




Edited 9/9/2004 4:12 pm ET ET by sexismyforte
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 10:41am
orgwoman, omg you are incredible. I would love to talk to you sometime if its ok. I have some questions about all this that you may be able to answer. Look forward to it :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 11:02am
I'm not sure that I'm that incredible...and I'm not sure I can answer your questions. However, you never know...ask away and we'll see!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2004
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 1:49pm
Yeah, only I've had the reverse. I've been told that I'm tight. It was kind of embarrassing when my doc was down there and said "Wow you're little." I didn't know whether to take that as a compliment or not.