Can women have no-strings sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2005
Can women have no-strings sex?
5
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 9:11pm
I wanted to ask the women out there if they feel it's possible for us to have sex without getting emotionally attached? Men don't seem to have a problem with no-strings sex. The reason that I ask is because I spent so long trying to find a boyfriend so I wouldn't have to have 'casual' sex and I would have a relationship with that man. I didn't have much luck in the boyfriend department, so now I don't want a boyfriend and all the commitment. I'm in a major dilemma because I want to have sex with a guy, but I don't want to get attached. Fill me in ladies.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 9:20pm
I had broken up with my long time boyfriend and felt bad about it. Within a few weeks I wound up sleeping with one of my male friends. At first I felt horrible because that's not who I am and not what I wanted for myself. I tried to not make a big deal about it and we tried dating after that and it didn't work out. Looking back on it, I still feel like it is one of the worst mistakes I have ever made. Be sure about what you want before you do anything, cause once it's done you can't change it.
Avatar for filiasan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 9:34pm
It really depends on the women. Though it's quite impossible for most, there are some (like me) who can do it and not feel bad about it (this is only because I don't become emotionally connected).
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 1:26am

Sure they can and do all the time, it's just not what most women would choose for themselves long term. Most of us, men and women really want love and commitment in our lives but maybe there are other priorities that take precedence over that. I'm not sure that EVERY woman is capable of no strings sex, just as not all men are. Neither my DH nor myself ever had or desired it.

IF you just want a friend with benefits, then look for someone you find physically attractive but who is different enough with enough habits that would annoy you, that you couldn't see yourself settling down with him. It will be a gamble though because great sex can lead to a bond and a sense of connection, despite your best efforts to avoid it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 2:40am

I totally understand your comment of <<>> cause that was my viewpoint once I made the decision to be physical again. I think you really (and I mean really) need to know exactly why you are doing it! Understanding yourself, your weaknesses, and your expectations is the only way to answer your question. Also, it will help you clarify what the strings are, how far they can be stretched and which ones can't be cut (aka broken).

In my case, I asked a friend, whom I thought was "safe" because I knew he was seperated. Our time together was great-just what I wanted, until he came over one night "just to watch tv". That one night sitting with him on the couch showed me what major part was missing in my life. Then over course of the next three weeks he began spilling the beans about his feelings for me (he had them for years but never acted on them because we were both married). So just be prepared that what you want may not be what you end up with. In my case it's better than I could ever plan,

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 6:55am

Some women can and some can't.


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