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| Thu, 01-19-2006 - 4:57pm |
Hi there!
I have some questions for anyone who can give me a bit of advice. I've been with my bf for about a year and a half now. Things are going great.
He was my "first". When we first started being sexual, we were 4 months into our relationship. I was comfortable with it. We would have sex about once a week, since I only see him half the week.
Well, recently, we have been having sex a lot less frequently. We've both been super busy in the past 4 months or so, and have some clashing schedules. Sometimes, he's working late, sometimes I am. However, when we do have sex, it is probably 200 times better than it was when we were averaging once a week. It is longer, more intimate, better, etc.
It's wierd though, and this is where I need your advice. You see, in the past six months or so, our relationship has grown considerably. I feel so loved, and so comforted. He says he loves me all the time, he talks about our future together. When we talk about things, I feel so comfortable, and can have a conversation with him for hours. It just seems so much more "loving", if you know what I mean. There's still all kinds of physical contact, such as hugging, kissing, and the odd playful poke and tickle.
I know I should be very happy, but I can't help but compare my relationship in terms of sex. I read about girls having sex 2 times a week with their SO, and then I feel like I have a poor relationship because we don't do that. But I can't help but think how things in the relationship besides sex have grown so well (and the sex too, when we are intimate).
What do you think?

If you are both happy and content with your sex life, then that is all that matters.
YOu need to stop comparing yourself to "other people"! Someone can have sex 10 times a week, and have a lousy relationship that's based on nothing but sex.
You have a good and loving relationship. You're happy, and you "feel loved". You're also both busy, and sometimes life takes priority over sex. Quality is a lot more important than quantity.
If this is simply a matter of you wanting sex more often, then you have to talk to him, and figure out a way to make that happen. It's called communication and compromise.
I think you need to lay back and relax and enjoy the fact that you are in love with someone who is in love with you just as much. Don't worry about comparing your relationship to other peoples, it is all about you and him. From the way you put it you both seem very satisifed. My only advice to you is enjoy it!
It really depends upon your own individual needs in these areas. What are they?
If you feel satisfied with your emotional compatibility but are feeling shortchanged in the bedroom, then that's something you ought to discuss with him sooner than later.
Some people are comfortable having sex a few times a month, some people more than once per day. You need to determine your own individual needs and let them be known.
Good luck,
E :)
Edited 2/4/2006 2:45 pm ET by mr_e_steubing