Can you scare men away..................

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2006
Can you scare men away..................
43
Wed, 09-06-2006 - 1:16pm

Hey all!

This is just a general question that I would love to hear viewpoints on. I would especially love to if a couple guys could get in on the and voice their opinions!

Do you think, that you can scare a guy away by wanting sex too much?

I.E. I am a woman and I have a very HIGH sex drive! I just hooked up with an ex boyfriend recently and want to do it again and again and again........

Anyhow, can you scare someone away by wanting sex too much?

Thoughts???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2004
Fri, 09-22-2006 - 8:53pm

Hi rain_dancer_iam:

In dating in the late 60's and early 70's, I did NOT run into the passionate woman. The women I dated acted as sex was a duty...My wife of 30 years also acts as sex was/is a duty...

Mac
Age: 57

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 11:48am

"In dating in the late 60's and early 70's, I did NOT run into the passionate woman. The women I dated acted as sex was a duty...My wife of 30 years also acts as sex was/is a duty..."

Not surprising, considering that sex was considered "a wifely duty" prior to that time. New ideas are slow to come by...(remember on television when husbands and wives slept in separate beds?....We've come a long way since then!) ;-)

Another thing relating to women's sexuality I have read tidbits of here and there, is that male androgens (testosterone) may not actually be responsible (at least not wholly) for women's libido. Our hormones are comprised more of a mixture of androgens or a series of events (although little has been studied about women's sexuality thus far, I await future studies to demystify it). You can't fix something that you have no knowledge of, correct? I have always suspected that testosterone alone is not wholly responsible for the female libido (I have never met a man whose libido I not only matched, but whose I have many times surpassed...., but I do not). In any event, I do think that overall, womens' emotional state is highly influential over their libido (which is why viagra has little effect on the female libido). But it may be more than that...or a combination of both...we shall see....

Here is an interesting read:

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=47897




Edited 9/23/2006 2:51 pm ET by rain_dancer_iam
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2001
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 9:03pm
Your comment about the effect of testosterone on women's (alleged) libido reminded me of a humorous article I read many years ago in Playboy (back when I used to subscribe to Playboy). The woman writing the article had heard how some women were using testosterone patches to increase their sex drive, so the woman claimed that she tried one of the patches to see what it would do. She said that it definitely affected her sex drive and that she found that she was thinking about sex a lot more than before the patch. One side effect, however, was that she found that she had a strong desire to drink beer and watch football on TV. She also found that she had a strong urge to scratch her crotch in public, LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2001
Sun, 09-24-2006 - 12:50am
I guess that it's some consolation to know that there are others who share my experiences. The thing is, I know it's not logical to assume that simply because I never encountered a sexual woman that it meant that there weren't any, or at least that they must be rare. I think that one reason I have difficulty accepting the concept of a sexual female is that, in addition to my personal experiences, none of my friends ever said anything about experiences with sexual women. I mean, if they were involved with any women like that, they weren't talking about it, LOL. As a result, it wasn't so much a case of not believing that women were interested in sex, it was a case of it not even occurring to me that a woman might actually WANT to have sex, as opposed to simply being WILLING to have sex if the man wanted to. I was wondering if you experienced the same type of thing, or did you think that it was simply bad luck, or bad choices on your part, that kept you from being with a truly sexual woman?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2006
Sun, 09-24-2006 - 3:35am

I think you are missing out big time, darlin....

I am 35 and have been married for 13 years and I love sex more than my husband. I was always a "good girl" and have only been with one other person besides my husband. I can't get enough. I have not always been this way... it started when I was about 28 or 29 and I realized sex is not bad (even though growing up in a Southern Baptist home we were always told it was bad) and I also realized if I didn't start enjoying it, my husband would find someone who did enjoy it...

One of the major things I have changed is what I wear under my clothes. No one knows except me and whomever I choose to show. Red or black silk from Victoria's Secret makes me feel sexy even if I am not wearing sexy clothes. Then the sexy feeling I get from knowing I have a "secret" underneath my clothes comes out in everything I do.

By the way, my husband does not ruin my innocent reputation, so I think you are wrong when you say if men you know are with sexual women, they would be talking about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Sun, 09-24-2006 - 9:47am

tee hee You do have a great sense of humor, Rice (incidentally, a great female libido enhancer ;-))!

None of those side effects seem too serious.... Now, if I developed an obsession for breasts; began having the urge to stand up and pee; became possessive of the remote control; and rolled over and ignored my husband after orgasming, those are truly characteristics of concern! tee hee




Edited 9/24/2006 9:49 am ET by rain_dancer_iam
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2004
Sun, 09-24-2006 - 11:44am

Hi rice71:
it was a case of it not even occurring to me that a woman might actually WANT to have sex, as opposed to simply being WILLING to have sex if the man wanted to.

Yes, the women sure did NOT initiate sex. It was my my wife who TAUGHT me how to be a better lover. Yet, she also did NOT WANT sex.

Mac

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2001
Sun, 09-24-2006 - 6:30pm

"and rolled over and ignored my husband after orgasming"

You mean that there are women who DON'T do that!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Sun, 09-24-2006 - 7:35pm

Hmmmm.....no "LOL" and no laughing emoticon.....so are you being serious, Rice?

Oh come on! Even where the stereotype pertains to a man, you're going to push that onto women as well? You didn't even have women who loved to cuddle after sex; not even your own wife? :-(

Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2001
Sun, 09-24-2006 - 11:30pm
Yeah, I was kidding, but I had you going for a while, didn't I? ;-) I'm guessing that I'm not the only man who is tired of that old stereotype. Actually, I think the cuddling afterward is the thing that I miss the most. Been a long time since I've been able to get a cuddle of any kind.