cannot finish

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2006
cannot finish
4
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 3:17pm
I'm 40 and I've started dating a guy who's 30. Well, I've been completely alone for about 8 years(like no sex). We're haveing sex which almost every time is drunk sex. Most of the time he has a difficult time staying hard, and I cannot get him to cum. I'v tried blowjobs, intercouse both top and bottom and anal sex. I'm lost!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2005
In reply to: joytoy2006
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 4:11pm

This happens to me sometimes, esp. with new lovers. It's nothing physical, I think, b/c I can still get myself off by masturbating etc., and it's perfectly hard, I think there is a small mental block some guys get. (Also, the drinking can't help but usually that would affect the erection, not the ability to ejaculate.)

Can I give you one tip though, DON'T call attention to it, you'll make it a self-fulfilling prophecy. I had one lover a while back who, when it just wouldn't happen, we'd just kind of laugh and snuggle up, my balls were all that much more loaded for next time and no worry at all. More recently though, I had a lover who got all down on herself for not getting me off the first times we were together, and it's wierd that was just wholly unattractive. I didn't like having to cum to make her happy; I'd far prefer to just enjoy it and if it does so much the better. It worked itself out but it did seem wierd to me.

It's really hard to say what the slight hangup is, I do understand what your bf's going through, it's like you want to cum, the girl wants you to cum, and you are very very close, but it just doesn't happen. If I take matters into my own hands for a few seconds i can almost always make it cum -- your bf can even hand it back to you beforehand (several seconds elapse between when you know you are going to cum and when you actually start). It's just a wierd thing that I guess some guys have, he may have it worse than I do but it's the same basic idea.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: joytoy2006
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 5:27pm
Why are you drunk every time you have sex? I think the obvious answer is don't drink next time and see if that helps. Alcohol can make arousal and orgasm difficult for both sexes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: joytoy2006
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 7:48pm
Alcohol can certainly have an effect on arousal and orgasms.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2006
In reply to: joytoy2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 5:11am

Being drunk EVERY time you have sex? Not so healthy.


but, other than that, my guy is 45 & sometimes its work to get him hard -