cannot get enough of my boyfriend
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| Wed, 06-01-2005 - 1:47am |
Hello everyone! I have posted on ivillage before and was hoping someone could offer me some advice here on a little "situation" I'm in right now. It's not a bad thing...quite the opposite actually. Here's the situation...
My boyfriend and I have been together for eight years. We are both in our early 20's and have not had any major problems. Lately though (about the last 1 1/2 years) our relationship has gotten really boring. We don't do much of anything special, don't go anywhere and the sex was just kind of blah. Same things, same positions, maybe once every two weeks. We do not live together but see each other every day. Anyway, I had a "talk" with him about the relationship last week and told him I was unhappy. We ended up talking about the relationship for hours - all the good and bad things about it - and we resolved a lot of things.
Ever since that night, I cannot get enough of him. I feel like we've just started dating again (with butterflies, shyness, and all!) He is constantly on my mind, 24/7. I feel like I'm falling in love with him all over again. I am SOOO attracted to him now. I always was attracted to him, but now the attraction is so much deeper. I find myself watching him do all the things I've always watched him do but now instead of just watching, I want to jump his bones! Our sex life has changed dramatically - we probably do it twice a day now and I cannot get enough.
Now, I am not complaining and neither is he. But, I have a few questions. Why the sudden change in my libido? I had little to no desire for sex before and now I cannot get enough from him. Is this all because of "our talk" or am I at my sexual peak? I am terrified this wonderful feeling is going to go away soon and I don't want it to. How can I keep it?
And lastly, his penis gets sore! It has been getting so much attention lately, it's actually a little sore. Is this normal and what can we do to get around that?
Any comments/advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading this long message!

You were in a rut and by talking about your relationship as a whole and your sex life, you both pulled yourself out of the rut.
Marriage, or a LTR such as yours is not a "fait accompli"......it is a "work in progress". You can never just sit back and say "well, I've got him/it now, I can just relax and let it take care of itself." It needs two people to constantly work on it, and make it as good today as it was yesterday.
All relationships have their ups and downs, and they certainly can't maintain "high energy" 24/365. But you figured that out, and you opened up some diaglogue, and you fixed it. That's not the end of the story, though. It is an ongoing thing. The most important of which is communication. If something is bothering you, you open up a diaglogue, and see what can be done about it.
As for "peaks", that's a lot of baloney. If you're happy, and in a good relationship, sex will "peak" all your life, as least as long as you remain healthy. People can need and want sex into their 80's and 90's. Maybe not with the frequency of teen-agers, but with actually MORE intensity. I'm almost 70, and sex in my 60's has been 10x better than sex in my 20's. Of course, that has a lot to do with the partner and the relationship, too.
The old saying "never go to bed mad" makes sense. If you have an issue, settle it, don't let it fester...deal with it NOW. Whatever you're doing now, keep doing it.