can't get it up

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2004
can't get it up
1
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 11:46am
can anyone help me? i think the guy i've been dating for the last 3 and 1/2 months (sexually active for 2 and a half) is attracted to me but am starting to have second thoughts because he rarely gets an erection. he enjoys giving me oral often and he can get an erection if i give him oral. but i can't do it for long because he is large and my mouth is unusually small. i can't do it long enough to finish the job. when we start having intercourse, he loses his erection. we had a "love in" weekend where i must have had a dozen orgasms and he didn't even have one. is he just not attracted to me? what can i be doing wrong?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 3:07pm

First of all, if he wasn't attracted to you, he wouldn't be coming back for more! Secondly, you're not doing anything wrong, because you don't control his erections. He does.

It sounds like he has a problem, and more than likely it's just nervousness. If he gets erections, it's unlikely he has a physical problem. If he can't finish intercourse, then finish him manually, or let him do it himself. Don't make a big deal out of it. It happens to the best of men, and by acting like something is wrong, that just makes him that much more nervous. He's giving you pleasure, so you have no complaints. Make sure he knows how much pleasure he's giving you.

Talk to him and ask him what you can do for him to return the favor. As far as oral is concerned.....most of his feeling is in the head, so concentrate on that, and if your mouth gets tired.....alternate oral with manual.

Not all guys are "hot to trot" all the time. Some take time to get comfortable with a new partner. Whatever his problem is, it's HIS.....and if he wasn't attracted to you, he'd have been gone a long time ago.