Can't get wet

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
Can't get wet
6
Fri, 03-04-2005 - 8:41am
hi.I have a lubrication problem.My bf tells me that I am not excited enough because I am not wet no matter how much forplay we do.I feel bad as though I am doing something wrong.I am excited but we can not have intercourse without using lube. How can I make my own lubrication so that bf knows I am excited?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 03-04-2005 - 8:52am

It has nothing to do with how excited you are, there are women who don't lubricate naturally on there own.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Fri, 03-04-2005 - 9:38am

I love it when a guy thinks he knows everything about a woman and her body. And then of course blames her for not reacting "properly" to whatever he's doing.

Some women don't lubricate well, PARTICULARLY when they've got pressure from their partner. Continue to use the lube, and don't let him make you feel guilty about it.

This isn't your fault. It's not like you can turn it on and turn it off. It could be a temporary thing, it could be due to some medications you're on, or it could even be HIS fault, if he's not doing the right things....You say plenty of foreplay, but if it's not done right, he might as well not do it.

This is his problem, not yours, and don't let him make YOU feel bad about it. Too bad about his poor ego. If he really understood how women's bodies work, he wouldn't be blaming you.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-04-2005 - 11:06am

Well, your BF is wrong. Inform (and educate) him that you have no control over the amount of lubrication you produce. That's involuntary, much as the amount of semen HE produces. Ask him if he would enjoy being pressured to produce more ejaculate.

Hormones determine the amount of lubrication we each produce at any given time so the amount we produce can also be affected by where we are in our menstrual cycle.

Artificial lubes were created because of a need and they sell well because we ALL need them at least periodically. And many, like yourself, need them regularly.




Edited 3/4/2005 11:11 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
Mon, 03-07-2005 - 8:29am
Thank you for the advice.I will speak with him.I feel bad that I do not get wet because he tells me that it really really turns him in when and if I do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 03-07-2005 - 8:56am
There is nothing for you to feel bad about, it is not something you have control over.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-07-2005 - 10:35am
We can't please all the people all the time.