Can't Keep It Up

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Can't Keep It Up
2
Sat, 01-01-2005 - 2:27pm

I've been seeing this guy for about 2 months now, and recently we took things to a new level in the relationship and started having sex. We are both 24 years old and truly like each other very much. What's the deal then? Well...when we start having sex, it's great, but as things progess, he loses his erection. It really didn't bother me at first b/c I just figured he was nervous. Well...that's what he told me anyway. He said that he doesn't want to displease me, etc, and that he's really nervous b/c of that. We've had sex more than enough now, and have been around each other enough that the nervous factor seems to be a cover up for some type of underlying problem. I'm very supportive though, and I tell him that it doesn't bother me, that it probably is just nerves and so forth. However, is this normal, especially considering that he's 24? Could I be doing something wrong? I've even asked if there was anything I could do, or if I was doing something that he didn't like, but then I felt bad b/c I felt like maybe I was putting extra pressure on him. So, what can do and why is this happening? Is it normal? Any input would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks,
Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 01-01-2005 - 3:57pm

It's very possible it happened at first because of it being a new relationship and being nervous.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2001
Sat, 01-01-2005 - 8:36pm
I agree with Issytish that it sounds like the guy has gotten himself into an anxiety feedback loop. He needs to break the loop and prove to himself (and, in his mind, to you) that he can finish the job. Have you tried giving him a BJ or HJ to completion? Maybe that type of situation would allow him to relax and not feel like he has to 'perform', so he won't feel anxious. If he can finish like that then he'll know that the equipent is all in working order and should be more confident the next time around. The thing is, don't let on that you're trying to 'make' him climax, or that will put him back in the anxiety loop. Oh yeah, while you're waiting for him to 'recharge' you can ask that he return the favor. ;-)