Casual sex
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Casual sex
| Fri, 12-09-2005 - 5:39pm |
I am currently single and have been for a few years now. Unfortunately it's been a few years now since I have had any real "action". In the summer time a guy from work approached me that he was interested in me or at least having a casual relationship with me. I was hesitant and shocked at first. I am telling you completely caught off guard. We kissed and while I am kissing him I am thinking how I used to have this reputation in college for being a good kisser and that what if I wasn't as good as guys previous had said or lost my touch. Anyways I had to many thoughts going on at the time.... so I said I couldnt do it. Ever since it's been like this guy has been in my head. I never thought of him like that before but now he is in there and I can't get him out. But not in the I want a relationship with this guy it's more of a What the hell was I thinking turing down sex with this guy. I always look forward to our shifts together because I know there will be so much flirting going on. He wears this cologne that OH MY GOD it sends me through the roof even with the slightest sniff of it. The worst part is he knows it, so sometimes I think he uses it to his advantage sometimes. Last night at our Christmas party I was getting tipsy. Our group was sitting together at the table for dinner he was next to me and I could smell his cologne I couldn't even concentrate on eating. He kept leaning in and ask me if I was okay. I would just kind of laugh and told him everything was fine, I didn't know if he knew what effect the cologne was having or if I was going to barf.. Later I confessed to him that I regretted turning him down before. That I was caught off guard by his offer and didn't know how to take it. The offer still stands he told me that I would just have to say when and where, that is if I still remembered in the morning (which I did). I just am a little nervous about that part...I don't want to call the shots. If I do...is it wrong for me to say his place, even though I have never been there before....we can't come to my house because I still live at home with my parents. Can I suggest dinner first as if its a date but not a date at the same time? That option was put on the table by him in the first offer. I guess as horrible as this sounds I have never "asked" for sex from a guy. My ex usually wanted it more often than I did so I never really had to initiate. Today when I was talking to him I told him I remembered our conversation and he said good. We made it clear that neither one of us would say anything to anyone at work and that the sex would not happen at work. As much as it is a major fantasy for me to have sex in an elevator. (I didn't tell him that part) I guess the bottom line is where do I take this how do I handle it? What are the dos and don'ts. I know it's only sex. I don't want a relationship right now. I have too much on my plate to throw a guy in there too. But the thought of the casual relationship is very appealing.

What's to figure out? If you think you know enough about this guy to trust him, then go to his place to do the deed. If you don't, then you may need to rethink this offer.
Just remember to play safe and don't take any unecessary risks just to have sex. It's not worth it.
I don't believe you want "casual" sex with this guy. You've been daydreaming about him for 6 months, you "swoon" over his cologne.........be honest with yourself.
On the other hand......Where's the respect from him?.....he wants a "casual" relationship with you.....in other words, sex with NO obligation. I know lots of guys want that, but to actually SAY it? That would creep me out. My reaction would have been "if you want sex with no strings, go pay for it".
Anyway, if it's okay with you....then go for it. In a few months you'll be here wondering why he hasn't called, why he's not available when you want him to be, and what you can to to "get" him. Famous last words of a woman entering a FWB relationship....."I don't want a relationship right now"! Just from the way you describe him, and how you feel when you see him.....you're playing with fire, and you'll get burned. JMO
This will be a FWB situation and nothing more.
Good advice. Safe sex would be a must in this situation.
Being a guy, I can give you the male point of view. I'm also surprised this guy was so up front in what kind of relationship he wanted. That was pretty bold. I'm not sure if this is a bootie call he is wanting or he just wants to date around. There's a little difference but it sounds like the bootie call thing.
I would say too that guys can also start changing their feelings too if they start really liking you. I know my agenda has changed with a lover before and it ended up not working out.
Good luck
If you can go into it knowing that it is sex only and if you can do it without feeling weird around him after, I think it's great. It's not like you picked him up at a bar.
I personally think that if you haven't had sex for awhile, it's better to do it with a friend than to start a relationship for the wrong reasons.