Casual Sex!

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Casual Sex!
12
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 9:43am
Is there such a thing as "casual sex"? Please, I need some input ladies.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
In reply to:
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 10:21am
Christine,

If you mean sex without commitment, of course there is such a thing. However, I think it is far inferior to sex with commitment...in my opinion masturbation with a partner.

Good luck.

Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to:
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 10:41am
Sure, casual sex to me is sex without emotional ties, one night-stands, FWB, sex just to have sex.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
In reply to:
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 12:27pm
Sure, casual means, informal, laid back, not serious. IMO, today, you'd have to be crazy to engage in casual sex of any sort without being tested first. Russian Roulette if you ask me. STDs are on the rise, and condoms just aren't enough. You can't trust a stranger to tell you the truth either, so you'd have to assume the worst. I would. Assume that this person you're having sex with had sex with lots of partners, so the next logical thing to assume is they have some sort of STD. Now you have to ask yourself, "Do I feel lucky?"

Sex is not worth it, IMO...I love myself too much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to:
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 1:12pm
Of course there's such a thing. I'm just curious why you would ask? Is some guy trying to talk you into the benefits of casual sex? If so, be aware that it's not a very sensible thing to do, because of the reasons others have mentioned, mainly STD's.

He's looking for cheap easy sex, and that's all. He wouldn't have to "date" you, or spend any money on you, and he could date others if he felt like it. You'd be nothing more than a recepticle for him. I like what Scott said, masturbation with a partner.

Women don't usually do well with casual sex.....because if they like a guy well enough to have sex with them, then they're going to start to want more, like a commitment, and a guy who wants casual sex is NEVER going to make a commitment to you. Having sex has NOTHING to do with "love" or respect, it only has to do with "getting off"...and then going away. But women usually try to talk themselves into it anyway, and then they come to message boards like this, all upset because the guy doesn't call them, doesn't care if they're alive or dead, etc.

If that's why you're asking, don't do it. You'll soon regret it.

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
In reply to:
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 2:41pm
Scott:

I do agree 100%. I'm the one who brought the casual sex subject with the man in question. If we do this, we have dicussed two commitments, staying exclusive and always practice safe sex. We both agreed, and just take it one day at a time. I was asking, cause I'm pretty new at this single life, I was married for 18yrs and still have children at home. So, all this is very new to me.

Thanks

Chris

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
In reply to:
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 2:50pm
buckeyejo:

I'll have to disagree with you on this one. This man and I have been friends for sometime now. We have been discussing the matter and trying to cover all the bases. We do go out on "dates", and have a lot of together. I quess we want to take it step further and take it one day at time. We have discussed two very important matters; staying exclusive and safe sex, which we both agree 100%. Thanks for your input, but I don't think all men are like you said, and also not all women get emotionally attached after sex.

Thanks,

Chris

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
In reply to:
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 2:57pm
Hi Chris,

Hard to stay casual too long. I used to sleep with a girl when I was first out of high school. We agreed to be "fuddies" (as we put it so indelicately). I thought this was great. I was having a good time with her...no strings attached. All of a sudden she left and moved to California, no goodbye, she just left. It wasn't until she left that I realized how much I loved her, and how much I wished I'd told her. I was eighteen then, I'm 41 now...happily married for sixteen years, and as I think about it, I still regret not telling her, and in fact being completely oblivious to my own feelings until it was too late. Anyway, I don't know how possible it is to have casual sex...not for too long. The lesson I learned was to never forget to express your feelings...even if it means the relationship is over. So I tell my wife and kids every day how much I love them and how much joy they've brought into my life...it was a good lesson.


Good luck.

Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
In reply to:
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 3:23pm
We can all learn from that lesson. I had the same experience. When she left I was devestated, and still to this day will think about what could have been. Not very often, or really ever seriously, but I have wondered, you know? She got me where it counted, and when she left, she took a large part with her. Did I love her? I don't know. I doubt it, but I cared very deeply for her, and if she had asked I would have told her yes, that I did love her, because at the time I think I thought I knew what love was, and that would have been it. Casual sex is great, don't get me wrong. It can be fun, exciting, and very enjoyable, but as soon as strings begin to form, you have to express them, or things can end up hurting very badly in the long run. Thanks Scott. Very good example. And for the fond memories it produced. LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
In reply to:
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 7:18pm
Then what you are having isn't exactly "casual sex", especially as buckeyejo (and most people) defines it. See the posts by scott and jeephead about how what they thought was pretty casual and unattached turned out to be wrenching when it ended. And this apparently goes even more for women than men.

taoist
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
In reply to:
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 9:15pm

I know that scenario all too well.

CL-Yasmin1967

May I have the serenity to accept what I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I

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