Is casual sex really taboo?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Is casual sex really taboo?
13
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 9:03pm
Hey y'all!
I'm a 27 year old single woman, who hasn't been in a relationship for nearly a year. For me, that means that I also haven't had sex in nearly a year. I've only had sex outside of a relationship once, and I didn't feel good about it. Soooo, now that I'm feeling a bit deprived sexually and I'm dating and meeting nice, attractive men, I'm wondering if casual sex is something that's considered taboo or if it's something that people do just to satisfy a physical urge? I'm not asking for anyone to tell me what I should do, because I know that what I choose to do is just that, my choice. I'm just asking for opinions.
What do y'all think about it? Nothing wrong with having someone around who satisfies an urge every now and then, huh? I just don't know if I'd be able to keep from developing feelings or an attachment to the person.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 9:51pm
I wouldn't because sex is never really "casual." It will change your relationship. I don't know if oral or masturbating would lead to something else or not (?) but that could fill a need. But be careful and stay safe.
Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 10:27pm

You write, "<>

That IS the major problem with casual sex. Men seem to be able to separate sex from love, but fewer women can.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 12:04am

If YOU don't think it's taboo, then for you it's not taboo. Everyone has their own idea of right and wrong.

What you're describing is called "Friends with Benefits".....and for some people it works, but what Gigi said is right. Most women aren't able to handle casual sex without becoming attached, and having expectations. In a FWB relationship, there should be no deep feelings, and no expectations. It's a mutual thing....and if he's seeing (and sleeping with) other women, that's his right to do so. If he's busy when you want to see him....too bad. He's not going to call you every day to see how you are, etc. It's NOT a relationship, it's getting together once in a while for sex. Most women start wanting more. Most men don't.

If you think you can handle it, go for it. But at the same time, you've been without it for this long, why not just get out and meet guys, and maybe you'll find a REAL relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 5:17am
I am one who does not think it is taboo and think the abstinence movement has done more harm than good. My caution is that I would not use it as a way of avoiding relationships. If you need a few causal encounters and play it safe then I do not see anything wrong with it.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 6:03pm

Taboo for whom? Since it's an individual decision, it doesn't matter what is or isn't "taboo" in anyone else's mind. Personally, casual sex or sex for sex's sake was never a driving force for me. I wouldn't get any physical pleasure from being with a stranger or acquaintance anyway.

But as with any kind of sex, it's a risk, emotionally and physically. Be prepared for complications.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 10:56am
I'd like a friends with benefits, being married puts that in a different context though. I'd like but would probably never go through with it. Lack of sex and affection at home makes me think about it though. I to would be worried that one of us would fall in love or both.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 11:57am
If you have a lack of sex and affection at home, you'd be better off putting your energy into figuring out why, and trying to fix the problem. Extramarital sex doesn't fix problems, it only add more problems.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 12:04pm
Couldn't agree more! I have and have and have tried. Every possible means known to the human race, gets better for a month or so and right back same old song and dance. 15 years of it! Gets frustrating, but haven't and won't do the cheating thing
Photobucket
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-17-2006 - 10:42am
I would never advise casual sex with others for a married person. If you have problems within your marriage, then you should work on those, not seek sex, affection, etc. outside of it. If the problems aren't solvable, move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Tue, 10-17-2006 - 11:27pm
Thats why I said being married puts in a different context, and I probably never go through with it. I' m outgoing and have had plenty of chances and offers and after 15 years of marriage with a dw that has a minimal sex drive I have not had casual sex, or any other sex outside the marriage, sorry to mislead you.
Photobucket

Pages