Cause/effect relationship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
Cause/effect relationship?
22
Wed, 06-16-2004 - 4:54pm
Okay, Kat, I've been holding back on this one for fear of causing a real stormburst, but it looks like that's just what we need now.

Okay, There was a thread a while back in which the majority of women said that their SO/DH/BF only lasted about 3-5 minutes during intercourse. I've also heard this confirmed by research, though I can't quote the source( maybe Masters and Johnson????).

Then , of course, we all know the statistic that only about 30% of women orgasm from intercourse.

Now, it seems like to me that there might be some kind of cause/effect relationship here, especially since it seems the majority of women require more than 5 minutes of stimulation to orgasm.

Now, many of you will remember my thread on orgasm from intercourse a while back and how a major argument broke out over how much men cared about this and how much they pressured their partners. I was always of the opinion that if the man wanted his woman to orgasm during intercourse, HE was the one to do something about it: stimulating her in other ways first, exploring different positions and movements to maximize clitoral and g-spot stimulation, and most of all, trying to keep it up long enough to get her there.

So, what do you guys think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Wed, 06-16-2004 - 8:48pm

Not only does it take a woman who knows what she needs, and a man who is willing to learn......but it also needs a woman who will teach.


Men aren't mindreaders.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Wed, 06-16-2004 - 8:50pm
>>Not only does it take a woman who knows what she needs, and a man who is willing to learn......but it also needs a woman who will teach.

Men aren't mindreaders. If a man can't please his partner because she hasn't told him how, it shows that she's the poor lover - not him.<<

Yes. I was very timid at first, and was horrible at communicating my needs. Once I started just forcing myself to ask for what I wanted/needed, our sex life improved greatly and so did my confidence.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Wed, 06-16-2004 - 8:52pm
Hey yarnlover
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Wed, 06-16-2004 - 8:55pm
I have a graduation for my daughter tomorrow, then we are all heading out of town for some R&R.

Have a nice weekend.


Edited 6/16/2004 9:03 pm ET ET by tiana_rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
Wed, 06-16-2004 - 10:30pm
Tiana, it's wonderful to hear about your hubby's oral expertise , but that's a separate topic.

It's also great to hear how much you enjoy being stimulated digitally, but that's also not the topic here. I happen to be a major advocate of the under-rated joys of digital sex. Perhaps you could start a thread about it and we could discuss it there.

The topic here is the longevity of intercourse and whether the 3-5 minutes that seems to be common is one of the reasons why some 70% of women don't orgasm from intercourse. You raise the point that women like you who do orgasm from intercourse don't all the time, and I wonder if the time spent on intercourse might be a factor.

taoist.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Wed, 06-16-2004 - 11:20pm

>>You raise the point that women like you who do orgasm from intercourse don't all the time, and I wonder if the time spent on intercourse might be a factor. <<


I know that was directed at Tiana, but the same goes for me....so I'll give an answer anyway.


I can easily have a set of multiple orgasms in 5 minutes

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Wed, 06-16-2004 - 11:36pm

Ah, but Tiana's point is valid.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 12:23am
Excuse me Ms. Katmandoo......but were you given permission to return after you were "shooed" out a few days ago?
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 1:35am
;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 8:19am

<It's also great to hear how much you enjoy being stimulated digitally, but that's also not the topic here.>>


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