changing directions

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
changing directions
14
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 9:33am

When I was dating a particular woman, she use to like to start sex by going right for it...by getting on top of me. We would kiss first but then she just wanted to get on top.

I let her do this a couple of times and then a few times, I stopped her and told her that if she wanted to get on top of me she had to go down on me first. But I would get her pretty hot first, she would get on top and just about stick it in and then I would stop her and tell her she had to have me in her mouth first. I could tell her was slightly disappointed but I wanted to feel the sensation of her mouth around me first. I wonder if any one else has stopped a woman like this and made them do something else before intercourse.

I think it was a turn on for me to be able to get her to do it when she obviously wasn't planning on it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Mon, 05-15-2006 - 8:36pm
Well, if he really wanted me to, I would, because he'd do the same in return for me. But it's more than that. It's sort of a sub/dom thing. It actually turns me on when he wants to dominate me, and we pretend that I am his slave and have no choice but to do what he is telling me to do. In those cases, I can't always do what I want to do, but it actually turns me on not to be able to.
Avatar for sugarbeat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 1:36am

so are you into the oral sex, the power aspect or the combination of the two? personally, there is no greater turn off than someone doing something to me they don't really want to do.

however, i hear you on having a mate that is not enthusiastic on oral. my mate does it but i have to ask for it and it's a real drag! he does a decent job when he's down there, but the lack of enthusiasm on his part reduces how much i enjoy it. luckily, i think it's a workable problem -- i explain to him why i love going down on him & how great it feels when he does it to me -- so i think with time my enthusiasm will be contagious. have you tried a more positive approach?

my concern for you is that if you coerce her she will learn to hate it even more and resent you in the process. but that's of course assuming you care. i'm not clear if you care about this person or are just into getting off.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 8:55pm
I understand what you are saying. I really do. It isn't as enjoyable. It is something I did, not something I do all the time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 9:01pm

I did this a couple of times while dating this woman. As it turns out, I married her later. I haven't done it but a couple of times. Everytime I want oral sex now though I have to ask for it because otherwise, I don't get it. That sucks.

I don't ask for it all that often to avoid any resentment from that.

What's hard is that I learned to love oral sex from a previous marriage and previous lovers. She knew that going in and gave oral while dating. Once married, she decided to tell me she didn't like it after all. Oh great, lucky me.

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