Changing His Mind?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2005
Changing His Mind?
2
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 2:32pm

Hey Everyone,

My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for a little over a year. At first we used condoms as a method of birth control and both found this fine. I switched to birth control pills, advice of my doctor, so we decided to try having sex using the pills instead. The problem is that now that we rely only on the pills, he won't finish inside of me. I've asked him if he'd feel safer using a condom as well, I'm fine with just the pills but I want him to feel comfortable too, but he says he likes the feeling of not wearing a condom. I asked him why he didn't finish inside of me and he says he prefers to finish in my mouth or on my body instead. Do you think his new preference of where he orgasms has something to do with us switching to birth control pills? I'm confused why he doesn't just tell me he feels uncomfortable, if he does, instead of pulling out every time. I'd like for us to both orgasm together but that is hard when he prefers to finish on me instead. It seems that his preference changed around the same time that we swtiched birth control methods so I'm worried he doesn't feel as safe with the pills as he tells me. What do you guys think I should do?

Thanks
xoxo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 2:38pm
Ask him right out if he's afraid of you getting pregnant.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 10:52pm

Maybe you're right about him not trusting the pill. He's not alone. Lots of people, men AND women, are afraid to have sex without a condom even when the woman is on the pill. Many men AND women don't understand exactly what the pill does, and the fact that if you take them properly, you will NOT get pregnant.

I suppose it's hard for a guy to understand how a pill in your mouth can keep you from geting pregnant, so explain it to him. The hormones in the pill prevent ovulation. Normally, you ovulate once a month, and that's the time the sperm hooks up with the egg, and voila, you're pregnant. If you take the pill properly, you don't ovulate, and there's nothing for the sperm to fertilize, and you cannot get pregnant. Maybe if he understands the mechanics of it, he'll be able to relax about it.

As Tish said, there's no reason he can't do it his way sometimes, and your way sometimes. Lot's of guys like to do that, but it shouldn't always be his way.