cheaters and compassion

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
cheaters and compassion
42
Sun, 05-29-2005 - 10:58pm

We have had a recent group of threads about cheating, and many of the replying posts seem to be extremely judgemental in reply.

Could I ask that we take a moment to consider the state of mind of many a cheating woman? Many attacking replies talk about love and respect - but I'm thinking that it would be very difficult to love and respect a partner if you don't love and respect yourself first.

Perhaps the cheating woman is the product of sex abuse or carnal knowledge. Perhaps she grew up in a household without a good male role model. Perhaps she's got so little self esteem that she sleeps around in an effort to feel loved.

When we attack these posters (and let's face it, there have been some blantantly rude posts in reply), are we actually helping these women? If their self esteem is already so low that they sleep around to find acceptance, how will us beating them up further help them? If anything, I think it would do more damage than good.

While I don't for one moment think that posters should condone the cheating, perhaps compassion may be more appropriate than attack? Surely helpful discussion would be more fruitful to help them understand the dynamics of their ways than the attacks that we currently see. Yes, we will get trolls from time to time who discuss cheating just to get a rise out of posters, but we also get real people posting with real issues.

May I remind you of one of the basic rules of humanity? "May those who have never sinned cast the first stone"

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 11:43am

"Tackling the "what about the SO" issue is putting the horse before the cart."

Actually, it could be a matter of life and death to try and get the cheater to show compassion for their SO. STD's kill and maim.

Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 11:57am
Well...that was a given that the alcoholic in a bar drinks soda only. I guess that I just misunderstood your posts. You made it sound as if someone had put a drink in front of you, you'd drink it or be tempted to drink it. That the only way you wouldn't drink it, is if it's out of sight.
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )

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