cheating?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
cheating?
22
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 6:49pm
I'm back. i read your posts and left my bfriend. i thought he was my bfriend because he told me that he loved me and only me. i found out that he was also going out with another girl that we know. he was also having sex with her. should i tell the other girl? also how safe am i? we used condoms only to have sex and not for oral. i feel so dirty thinking that he might have did her and then me without showering.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 10:37am
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I think it's pretty darn common. Casual sex is, I guess, sex without necessarily loving the person. (I am not sure why you'd have sex with someone if you didn't at least _like them a fair bit!) It can be tons of fun approached in just the right way. Of course, very empty if not. I think you just have to be reasonably smart about using condoms and such.

But I will admit there is a major loophole: I've never really heard of anyone using condoms for oral sex. It is probably absurd but certainly I've many times been in situations where though I had a condom on for vaginal penetration, we then took it off, and I came in her mouth and she swallowed the whole thing. It just seems to be the norm, but it concededly makes no sense.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 10:48am
I have had lots of casual sex, where I didn't care at all about the guy. It's fun that way because you don't have to think about them, just getting off. If I care about the person, I feel more vulnerable. Casaul sex rocks! I really liked this guy that just broke up with me. We did not have sex yet because he wanted to wait. I was dying to get a hold of his (fitb).

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 10:55am
Hopefully for your sake those women didn't have any STDs. Many of them are transmitted through oral sex...both to the receiver and the giver. For instance STDS can be passed through your uretha. I believe the risk is higher if the giver flosses their teeth a few hours before. You are just as much at risk as the giver is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 1:52pm
>>What does taken mean?<<

It means in an exclusive relationship. The OP said he cheated. Why would she say that if they were just having casual sex? You had lotsof casual sex in college, good for you. But we are not talking about you. Not everyone choose to go down that road, and you can't make assumptions based on what your lifestyle is. I gave my advice based on the information given, and you should do the same.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 4:17pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 11:30pm
"I believe the risk is higher if the giver flosses their teeth a few hours before. "

I am sorry, but WHAT ON EARTH does flossing teeth have to do with it. This sounds like a rather amusing old wives tale to me...but maybe I'm wrong...

Angel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Sun, 05-23-2004 - 12:10am
I'll jump in here. Flossing causes microscopic tears and most STDs are transmitted through bodily fluids and blood. Even simply brushing the teeth prior to oral sex increases the risks. Just go to google.com and type in 'oral sex std brushing teeth floss' and you'll see it's not a myth. There's more in the mouth, than meets the eye. ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 10:34am
First off, Hell, You need to stop blaming yourself. We all miss things in life that should smack us in the forehead. It is all good. You have nothing to be ashamed of, or feel dirty about, etc. I can understand the way you feel about it, and I am sorry it happened this way, but as others have said, you are better off without him, and as you said, live and learn. There is a guy out there, just waiting to meet you, and when you find him, it will be perfect. Keep your chin up. It is all gonna be just fine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 10:43am
Flossing your teeth, generally causes bleeding. Brushing your teeth just before can have the same effect though. If the gums are bleeding, things can be transmitted much easier. But, it has been proven that AIDS or HIV can be transmitted through saliva!!! So, condom for vaginal, anal, and oral are required for safe sex to be practiced!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 1:25pm
This totally makes sense. But I've never met a woman who wanted to fellate a condom-covered penis. And now I realize how ridiculous I am -- and I think many other people are: I can think of several times over the years where I have used a condom for penetration but then taken it off to come in her mouth and the woman in question often swallowed it all.