Cheating -- can we all be honest?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Cheating -- can we all be honest?
62
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 9:00am

OK, I love my husband very much and would never want to leave him or hurt him. However, I am currently involved in a romantic relationship with a man from work (I'm a 32 y/o school teacher with two kids.) My husband has ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA -- I am very, very, VERY careful.

We have had sex on my desk as early as last week -- yes at school. I know it's a little wild, but I anyways . . . and we also have sex in his car. Please everyone resist the urge or trying to give me advice as to how to fix my relationship problems with my husband -- I already know what they are.

what I don't know is, how many other women out there cheat, even if it was just a one-time fling. I feel guilty but not enough to stop, and I know I can't be the only woman in America who feels this way.

because I DO feel guilty, i'm trying to get a feel for how many other women explore as I have. I don't need anybody to fix my problems -- just to talk about their experiences with this. as for the men -- listen, too bad. women cheat, OK, just like you do. deal with it or make us happy and make us feel the way we should feel for keeping your home and giving you the gift of children.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 10:05am
hey, i thought it was good :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 10:07am

A woman doesn't, maybe.

But that's not the case with men, Rain_dancer. The only thing a man wants is something "different."

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 10:10am

Jake, I can tell you what my husband is looking at on the computer. Jobs! Or he's downloading music off Kazaa..That crappy, cheesy hip-hop "Jump Around" rap from the early nineties. He's not meeting chicks. The man can't type! I've watched him. He henpecks, but I think a hen could type better than he! He doesn't cheat on me because he's the rare #3 man-He who is honest. *LOL* Let's be realistic, shall we? As for the porn...And this is so shocking...I DOWNLOADED THOSE TWO PORN CLIPS! IT WAS ALL ME...Yes, I am a woman who out of sheer curiousity downloaded porn. And, my husband wanted to watch it with me. Oh, the shame! We're two people deeply committed to one another. A first in relationship history for the wh*re country of the world!

She was an angry, little thing wasn't she? Wonder what's stuck up her arse?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 10:13am

Well...please don't speak for my DH and MOST men. DH and I are free to do whatever we want with our lives. We don't have a leash on each other. We are free spirits. If that's what his choice would be in this life, then who am I to stop him and vise verse? (The only rule we have is that we respect each other enough to end it first.) We remain together because that's OUR DESIRE not because we HAVE TO. I know it's hard for you to comprehend this and it's probably because you haven't experienced it.

BTW, are you claiming to be a woman or a man...I'm not sure. tee hee




Edited 5/19/2005 10:20 am ET ET by rain_dancer_iam
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 10:15am
Yes, I have a rare M3! *LOL* The porn is alright. I haven't found anything of substance, really. I'm bad about just clicking to download w/o reading first. Then I watch it and I'm tearing my eyes out! *LOL* Like the time I DLed a clip of two men having sex. Didn't mean to, but I was careless. I learned a valuable lesson that day-Read before I click. I don't have very much because I am expecting a baby and I don't want him subjected to more moans and orgasms that don't come from DH and I in the bedroom. *giggles*
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 10:20am

I'm the man in these here parts . . . and if you don't believe me about men cheating, I challenge all you ladies out there to just seek and you shall find. Don't be afraid to find what you don't want to find if what you seek is the truth. I have cheated before, and every single person I know whether an accountant, or lawyer, or doctor, or pastor has cheated. every one. It's not just the company I keep, but rather the nature or guys in general.

You are all more than welcome to believe what you want but if you want to find out The truth, get creative. You'll find out in no time how willing your guy is to cheat. If you choose not to, understand that you are only doing so to protect a reality that you want to believe.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 10:27am
...again...people who are deeply in love and dedicated to each other don't HAVE the desire to cheat so there's nothing to look for. There are honest people out there that have respect for themselves and their SO and who wouldn't ever think about cheating. It's obvious that you're not one of them. Come back after you've ACTUALLY LOVED a woman and I'm sure you'll be singing a different tune. ;-)


Edited 5/19/2005 10:32 am ET ET by rain_dancer_iam
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 10:36am

Rain_Dancer, men ALWAYS have the desire to cheat. Take or leave it, believe it or don't. Men simply don't feel as if cheating is an act of non-love. I have to agree with Emily on that one. I "love" the person I am with and want to spend the rest of my life with her. That doesn't mean that what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

If you think I'm generalizing, here is a simple test: Tell your husband that you want to experiment with you, him and another woman and ask him what he thinks about it. His response and/or answer will tell you all you need to know about his "desire".

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 10:40am
...we've already had that conversation. It's a no go for him. Sorry. He even turned down "free" sex with very attractive women when he was single. Not all men are ruled by their penis...thankfully. ;-)
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 10:55am
Yes, we have discussed threesomes, open marriages, bisexuality, homosexuality, beastiality, and many, many sexual topics. That's what married people do. We know where we stand on each of them.
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )

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