Come faster?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2005
Come faster?
7
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 5:46pm
How do I get my man to come faster? I love him to death, but he takes forever. (50-60 minutes)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 6:19pm
I'd love to go for that long! Enjoy it while you can. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 8:04pm

Honestly there is probably not a lot that you can do on your own. He's the one that's taking a long time and he's the one that will know why. There are dozens of different reasons ranging from he's with a new partner and he's nervous and tense during sex, he's used to masturbating with a firm grip and it's difficult to get the same very specific stimulation that he's used to from masturbating, he masturbates a lot and doesn't have the need/desire to orgasm quickly, maybe he thinks that a guy should last a long time and he holds off, fear of pregnancy makes it difficult for him to "let go", to problems in the relationship have stressed him out.

Try talking to him. Beware putting pressure on the fragile male ego so stay positive. But try to find out if there's something that you can do to help him out. You might find that there is a very simple answer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2005
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 11:06pm
You'd think so, but no, not really! My bf often takes this long or longer. You get tired, dry and sore by the time the hour, hour and a half time rolls around. Yes, it is incredible that he has such stamina, but at times, it is WAY too much of a good thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 11:33pm
Sometimes my boyfriend does this. Is it everytime or just sometimes? When my guy does it, usually it is if we have had alot of sex before. Like the more he cums in a short period of time, the longer it takes him to go the next time. So when I know he will prolly do this, I go for more foreplay so that way when we have sex it doesn't take as long. I know how you feel, I get sore too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2005
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 9:58pm
It is almost always about an hour or more. The other night it was 2.5 hours and that was just too long - I was exhausted and so sore by the end! The one response about it being various reasons makes a lot of sense to me - my bf got divorced a couple of years ago and hasn't really been with anyone until me. So he is used to the pressure, friction and speed from masturbation and that is tough to duplicate. We're working on it and the sex is still incredible but it is sometimes frustrating for me because I want him to enjoy it as much as I do and want to be the one that does that and I feel if it takes so long that I am not doing what I should be doing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 12:08am

Your analogy doesn't make sense. Teenagers masturbate for years until they finally have intercourse. When they do, they usually can't last more than a few minutes.

Whatever his problem is, is HIS problem, not yours. There is nothing you can do, and there is nothing you're not doing that's causing it....it's ALL up to him, just as your orgasms are all up to you.

There has to be a time, certainly LONG before 2.5 hours when you just say ENOUGH. If he can't finish thru intercourse, then you can try to help him out orally or manually, or he can do it himself.... but it's ridiculous to allow him to continue until you're in PAIN!

That isn't sex, it's punishment!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 12:31am

Could be, of course, that he still has some hangups about relationships and he's not 100% comfortable and secure in your relationship. Then again, it might be something else entirely.

2.5 hours of intercourse is rediculous. Enough is enough. Tell him to stop. He can either finish himself off with his hand or you could help him with a BJ, or a combination of both. Or he can just not cum at all. It'd be an anticlimax but he won't die from not cumming. It's certainly preferable to hours of discomfort and staring at the ceiling. I'm surprised that he keeps pumping away and doesn't give up before that either.