Condom Question
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Condom Question
| Thu, 11-18-2004 - 1:59am |
Just a question that I have been very curious about. I just got married the end of October and was a virgin. I had been on birth control, se we never used a condom. I here that guys don’t like to use them and that sex is not as good with one. What is the difference? How does it feel different? I don’t want to try it out because my husband would be insulated (he has had other partners but is clean of STD’s) Are there any perks of using a condom? Since I was a virgin it takes us a while for him to “get in”. Would a condom help?

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Interesting. DH and I have been using condoms (I can't take the pill,) and one thing I notice is something is really missing. It's him ejac. inside me. Wow, thatnks, that really makes me feel like I know what's missing now!!!
As to the lube helping, I agree. But I need to add, some people say the man shouldn't even think of entering you until your very ready for sex. I agree. Sure sometimes a quickie is very sexy, but sometimes I want to be so excited for sex I'm begging for it, then I'm really ready!!
The pill can also be drying and can lower arousal fluids. Try TMI here I know, using his penis to arouse yourself. Rub him around and get things excited before he enters you.
Contrats on the wedding!!
perhaps my husband is just different, but he prefers to wear condoms. now, it's probably more a philosophical thing than anything else.
my husband is adamently opposed to chemical birth control (ie, the pill, depo, etc). he feels that it's another way for men (via the medical establishment) to further control the sex lives of women while white washing it with language of "women's liberation." basicly, the pill and similar forms of birth control move a woman's natural fertility/sexuality cycle from one that has times of fertility and times of infertility to more closely mirror a man's sexuality (which is all the time fertile) allowing him to have sex when he wants to by making his primary female always "ok" to have sex at any time without getting pregnant. So, it feeds into male sexuality (always ready) by making her always ready without regard to fertility. A woman's sexuality, if she didn't want to get pregnant, would focus on having sex only when she's not fertile, which decreases her availability to the male (without a form of barrior contraception for one or the other).
similarly, using the pill takes him out of the reproductive loop (largely, women get the drugs, pay for them, and deal with all things gynocological without male input), removing him from the responsibility of "worrying" about fertility and pregnancy. Notice, that a man gets to maintain fertility (and as one poster said, part of his sexuality is his ability to semenate, even if it doesn't lead to conception--assuming that his partner uses a form of chemical bc), while women are in a form of lasting infertility--predomimently for male pleasure (not wanting to wear a condom to take responsibility for his fertility).
so, to him, wearing a condom is taking responsibility for his part in the fertility cycle. he recognizes that he's fertile at all times while i'm fertile only some of the tiem (and using Fertility Awareness Method, or Natural Family Planning, i know when that is). to take responsibility for his part in "birth control" he feels it is most appropriate to wear a condom. My part is to know my cycle (he helps with basal body temperature and cervical placement in the charting). This way, we come to a "couple's sexuality" and a "couple's fertility" where we're both paying attention to our natural rhythms and using non-invasive methods to prevent pregnancy.
knowing my cycle as i do, i know that we can go condomless for certain times of the month, but he still won't have it, because it's a way for him to feel empowered sexually. personally, i'd like to try it, but i don't want to take away his sense of personal power in the process.
we tend to use very thin latex condoms without spermicide and with lubricant which he prefers. we prefer them to polyurethane.
so, that's his philosophy. i'm somewhat inclined to agree with him. and it's nice, because i was never comfortable with chemical birth control anyway. i understand it for medical reasons, but other than that, i'm not sure that i'd want to use it. also, when it is used for medical reasons, it may not function as BC (as is the case with my sister's dosage). so, it may be worthwhile to check out Fertility Awareness method just to make sure that it's working appropriately. check out gardenoffertility.com.
my husband is so sensitive. :)
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