confidence issue and doubt after bad break up - Need ladies advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2014
confidence issue and doubt after bad break up - Need ladies advice.
4
Thu, 05-15-2014 - 11:47pm

Not sure if this is the right place to ask this. But I am a guy in his late 20s, and my long term ex cheated on me after I died and now I am having a lot of confidence issues and doubts about the way I was perfroming in bed. 

Wanted to air out some of my concerns and see if I can get some general opinions. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2014

After I ALMOST*** died.... hahaha

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Why do you associate her cheating with your bedroom performance?  Did she have complaints about that?  There could be many reasons she cheated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009

Men always associate "cheating" with sex.  People, women in particular, cheat for many reasons, and it's not usually sex.  Sex can be, and IS, wonderful with the right person.  There is more to sex than "performance"!  There is love, there are feelings, there is caring more for the other person than for yourself!  If ANY component is missing, then there might be cheating.  If she thought you were dying, she might have been looking for "comfort".  Most women would wait until you died.....but some (as you now know) don't wait.  Whatever it was, it wasn't meant to be, and your performance in the bedroom was more than likely the LEAST of her problems, if it was a problem at all.  More women will end a relationship over things that many men consider "dumb".....like not being "romantic" enough, or not making a big deal out of special days like birthdays and holidays.  Some women don't like your extended family, some women are only with you till something better comes along.  But the bottom line is that it is very rarely about bad sex......THAT can easily be fixed.  You're setting yourself up for failure by worrying about your "performance".  A man who's successful in bed finds out what the woman wants and likes, and by being confident about it.  You and your ex were not meant to be for many reasons, and now it's time to move on confidently, and you'll find someone that you're meant to be with. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2012

> A PRAYER TO POMBAGIRA MY QUEENPOMBA GIRA MARIAPADILHA OF THE 7CROSSROADS, GOWHEREVER ( THE FULLNAME OF THEPERSON) E DON’T LETHIM REST, DON’T LETHIM SLEEP,DON’T LETHIM TALK, DON’T LETHIM BE CHEERFUL,DON’T LET HIM FEELPLEASURE UNTIL HETALKS TO ME,ITIS,FOR THE POWERSOF EARTH, FOR THEPRESENCE OF FIRE,FOR THEINSPIRATION OF AIR,FOR THE VIRTUES OFWATER,I INVOKE THE13 BLESSED SOULSFOR THE POWER OFTHE SACRED HEARTS ETHE TEARS SHED FORLOVE,SO THAT THEYGO TO WHEREVER( THE FULL NAME OFTHE PERSON)IS ATTHIS MOMENT ANDBRING HIS SPIRIT TOME, TO TIE ITDEFINITELY TO MINE.HIS SPIRIT WILL SOAKIN THE ESSENCE OFMY LOVE E WILL BEBACK IN DOUBLE.(THE FULL NAME OFTHE PERSON) WILLNEVER DESIREANOTHER WOMANAND HIS EYES WILLALWAYS BE ONLY ONME.. IT WILL BE!HAIL POMBA GIRAMARIA PADILHAQUEEN OF THE 7CROSSROADS! I ASKYOU: GO , TURNAROUND, GOWOMAN, TURNAROUND IN MYFAVOUR BRINGING( THE FULL NAME OFTHE PERSON) TO ME,ASKING; MOVEAIR,TRANSFORMFIRE,MOVEAIR,TRANSFORM FIRE,WATERBECOMES,EARTHHEALS, IT TURNS THEWHEEL TURNS, ITTURNS THE WHEELTURNS IT WILLBRING (THE FULLNAME OF THEPERSON) BACK TO MEAS SOON ASPOSSIBLE NEXT TOME, HE WON’TDESIRE ANOTHERWOMAN, HE WILL BEFINE ONLY BY MYSIDE, HE WILL MISSME AND WILL COMETO MEET ME AND ASKME TO NEVER LETHIM GO.(THE FULLNAME OF THEPERSON) WILL WANTME AND WILL NOTSTOP THINKINGABOUT US TOGETHER.IT IS AND IT WILLBE.HAIL POMBAGIRA! HAIL 7 SKIRTS!HAIL YOUR SITERS,MARIA MULAMBO,MARIAPADILHA,SHIVERED,AND ALL THEOTHERS ! HAIL 7SKIRTS! MY GOODFRIEND, WOMAN OF7 EXUS, DEFENDEROF THE WOMEN!HAIL 7 SKIRTS!MYKIND AND GLORIOUSPRINCESS.I KNOWYOUR STRENGTH ANDYOUR POWER, I ASKTHE FOLLOWING:( THE FULL NAME OFTHE PERSON) WILLNOT SLEEP IF HE ISNOT SURE THAT WEARE TOGETHER, HISBODY WILL BURNINTO DESIRING ME,(THE FULL NAME OFTHE PERSON)’SDESIRE FOR ME WILLMAKE HIM BLINDFOR OTHERWOMEN,THE OTHERWOMEN WILL NOTSEE HIM AS AMAN,THE OTHERWILL NOT MAKE (THEFULL NAME OF THEPERSON) DESIRETHEM,WILL NOT GIVEHIM PLEASURE I AMTHE ONLY ONE WHOWILL HAVE THISPOWER.(THE FULLNAME OF THEPERSON) WILL NOTLOVE, KISS, HUG ANYWOMAN ANYMOREAND WILL LET ME BEIN HIS HEARTS. TEAROTHER WOMENAPART FROM HIM,THE OTHER WOMENWILL NOT WANT HIMANYMORE.( THE FULLNAME OF THEPERSON) WILL LOOKFOR ME AT ALLTIMES, TODAY,NOWWISHING TO BE BYMY SIDE, HE MISSESME, (THE FULL NAMEOF THE PERSON)WILL ALWAYS HAVEMY IMAGE IN HISTHOUGHTS AT ALLTIMES OF HIS DAYAND NIGHT. RIGHTNOW, WITHWHOMEVER ANDWHEREVER YOU ( THEFULL NAME OF THEPERSON) WILL STOPAND HIS THOUGHTSWILL BE WITH ME.WHEN YOU LAYDOWN, WHEN YOUWAKE UP, YOU WILLDREAM ABOUT MEAND FOR THIS YOUWILL LOVE ME MOREEVERYDAY, IF YOUARE SLEEPING WAKEUP MISSING ME. YOUWILL BE GLAD TOHEAR MY VOICE. (TEHFULL NAME OF THEPERSON) WILL FEEL ADESIRE FOR ME THATIS NOT NORMAL LIKEHE HAS NEVER FELTFOR ANY OTHERWOMAN AND NEVERWILL. HAIL 7 SKIRTS!MY KIND ANDGLORIOUS PRINCESSFOR THE 7 EXUSTHAT FOLLOW YOURSTEPS,I PLEA AND IBEG, TIE ( THE FULLNAME OF THEPERSON)TO THE 7KNOTS OF YOURSKIRTS AND TO THE 7BELLS OF YOURCLOTHES FOR ME. ITHANK YOU FORYOUR WORK FORME.I WILL MAKEPUBLIC YOUR NAMEIN EXCHANGE OFTHIS WISH, BRING(THE FULL NAME OFTHE PERSON) TODAYAND LET HIM BEALWAYS WITH ME,LET HIM BE MINE,LET HIM BE ALWAYSWITH ME AND TODAYHE WILL THINKABOUT ME, HE WILLCALL ME AND HEWILL BEBACK TO ME,BECAUSE HE WILLNOT STAND BEINGFAR AWAY FROM ME,BECAUSE HE WILL BEAFRAID OF LOSINGME, HE WILL COMESAYING THAT HEWANTS ME ALWAYSWITH HIM, AND HEWILL WANT ME TO BEHIS WIFE ANDMOTHER OF HISCHILDREN.LIKE THISIT IS.I TRUST THEGROUP OF POMBAGIRA OF THE 7CROSSROADS, EVERYTIME THIS PRAYER ISREAD IT WILL BESTRONGER, THAT ISWHY I WILL SEND ITTO THE 4 CORNERSOF THE WORLD,ASKING OH MOTHERMAKE THIS WISHCOME TRUE: I WANTTO BE WITH ( THEFULL NAME OF THEPERSON) I KNOW THEGROUPS OF POMBAGIRA ARE ALREADYBLOWING MY NAMEINTO ( THE FULLNAME OF THEPERSON) ‘S EARS DAYAND NIGHT, HE WILLNOT EAT,SLEEP ORDO ANYTHINGUNLESS HE IS WITHME, I TRUST THEPOWER OF THE 7CROSSROADS ANDWILL CONTINUESPREADING THISPOWERFUL PRAYER,Say this prayer: