confused - is an orgasm an obligation?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
confused - is an orgasm an obligation?
5
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 8:48am

sometimes i just want to make out, no sex, not even touching of lower body parts. but i feel that the guy kinda expects to 'come' and i am obliged to give him oral or hand job at least.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 9:25am

Obligation?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 10:14am

Welcome to the board, sillypop.

There's never an obligation to have a sexual encounter, but often the purpose of making out is so that it will lead to more sexual interaction. If you've already gone beyond the making out stage with a guy, he's likely to expect that your relationship is going to continue to develop past that point. Human nature dictates that it's more difficult to go backwards than forward.

Are you having these encounters with the same guy, or different guys?





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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 10:56am
You are not obligated to do anything and if he gets aroused, he always has the option of taking care of himself later on.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 8:30pm

same guy. im a one-man woman. :P


i know it's hard to go backwards but why does he have this expectation then?


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 8:44pm

Having a desire and having an expectation are two separate things. If it's something the two of you have done before (gone beyond kissing), then he's going to at least be hopeful that your heading in that direction when you are together again. Perhaps in that circumstance, he does expect it because the two of you have been there before.

If it's something that you feel he expects, yet you haven't gone there yet, then you're putting pressure on yourself, perhaps unnecessarily. He may wish you would go there, but that is certainly different than expecting. Kissing and making out should build that desire, KWIM?





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