Confused...Embarrassed....LOST
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| Thu, 05-12-2005 - 12:45am |
Alittle history on me: Im a young female thats been having problems in bed. I was sexually abused several times when i was younger. And ive watched as all the men in my life just walk in and outta it as they please. Ive got two thangs i wanna ask some advice on.
First Problem.
I dunno if its just the guys ive been with or if it's me personally. But I know my problems revolve mostly around the fact I'm not confortable in a bedroom with anyone. I've had 4 different sex partners over my 19 years, and not a single one of them have been able to get me off during sex. One or two of them have come close to it, but no go. HeH.. It's really nerve wrecking because i can get myself off in split seconds when im on my own, but when its with someone else i can't do it. I can't get my mind to shut down, and enjoy it. I've tried everythang i can possibly think of. Even thinking about somethang that really turns me on while the guys trying to get me off. And ive had a guy try for 3 hours almost to get me off, trying everythang in the book he could think of. But it didn't work... He came close. I've even tried drinking a couple of drinks, and im honestly not a person big on drinking either. If anythang that tenses me up more. I dunno whats wrong with me.. But its very discouraging to hear all my friends talk about how good it feels to orgasim with their partner, and never experience it.
Second problem.....(this is what im really embarrassed about)
When i talk to my friends, and we get on the "sex" subject, its disturbing. They mostly talk about how they ride their partners. I'm in a longterm relationship, have been for 2 years, but ive never slept with this guy. We always talk about how he wants me to ride him and everythang. But to be honest i dunno how. It's like i have all these thangs piling up in my head, and im very creative. But once i get into the bedroom, i freeze up. Im always scared im gonna do somethang wrong, or im not gonna please the guy im with and he gets mad at me or somethang. When im in bed im more worried about weither or not im pleasing the guy to the fullest extent instead of my own pleasure. Dont get me wrong i love fooling around, and it feels great. But i never reach my climax. Ive gotten so use to going to bed unsatisfied once ive had sex that its unreal. I tend to be shy, so im not one to tell a guy that he didnt satisfy me.
I mean what am i gonna do. Basically im too shy in bed. I dont really like to be completely undress. Everybody talks about how arroused they get from their breasts and all being carressed and everythang. Mine don't effect me. My ex has run ice over my nipples and it doesn't bother me. I don't even budge. I honestly can't stand for anythang waist up to be messed with during sex, besides my neck and kissing. Can someone give me some advice on what i can do? I mean i wanna be able to please my fiance, but also be able to please myself at the same time. I do think it would improve my performance alot in bed when im comfortable enough to orgasim. What do i do?

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Thats actually a SUPER point magnolia!, well said.
There were times when I actually drifted so much back and forth between wanting to talk it out with Mrs. Para and then other times I just didn't want ANYthing to accidentally get me started on it.
THAT was probably the prime thing that prevented me from getting the help I needed too, just the differing moods about it all as to whether or not I wanted to share/deal with it or just try my best to forget it.
Nicely said. :)
C H A R A C T E R
The past is something you both have to talk about and deal with.
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