Couple of questions (mostly anal)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Couple of questions (mostly anal)
5
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 10:45pm

Hi gals. I've never been on this board before, but I have a few questions... I'm looking for something different/ exciting. It started today when he swatted me as a joke, and I said 'do it again, I loved it'. Okay, I was joking, but really, I've always kinda thought about spanking. The other one is anal sex. My DH always said he'd never go for anal, but I think he's reconsidering. We touched upon that topic for a second after the whole spanking thing. He said that we'd have to have a long talk, because he doesn't quite know where I stand, and doesn't want to try anything unless I'm totally okay with it up front. (Yeah, basically he doesn't want to try to slip it in and find out I didn't mean it).


I have 2 problems. The first is, mentally, the thought of both turn me on. But I'm afraid that I'll hate them when I try them (yeah yeah, only one way to find out). The second is, my biggest issue with anal is the 'ick' factor. I've read about how to loosen up, use lubricants and protection (is that necesary when you're married?), and take it slow. I haven't seen anything about cleaning first. Sorry to be gross/ graphic, but will he be covered in poop when he pulls out? Any suggestions to avoid that? I mean, maybe if he had a condom on it wouldn't be bad, but... ugh... I don't even want to think about it on him.


At this point, we're only in 3 positions. Him on top (crushing me), me on top, or me laying on my back, him on his side in a T shape. I'm looking for something new/ different.


If I do decide to try anal, should I spend a week or 2 'practicing' with a finger or vibrator before even mentioning it to him? I've heard plugs mentioned, but I feel very weird about walking into a store (and even worse about ordering online). Is there anything else I need to know?


Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sun, 01-20-2008 - 1:23am

The need for "protection" is because if he doesn't use it, then he has to stop and wash thourougly because if any bacteria from the anus gets transferred to the vagina........you are in for a nasty infection.


I've only done it a few times, and I'm not really thrilled with it......and yes, it was messy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Sun, 01-20-2008 - 3:54pm

Welcome to the board, jazzybebop.

While hubby does smack my butt on occasion, I can't say that I'm into spanking. A enjoy the sharp, unexpected smack during doggy position, but I don't think I would enjoy being spanked. There are some members here that do enjoy it, so hopefully someone else will chime in on that.

As far as anal sex is concerned, practicing is really a way to prepare you to adjust to the feeling of having something inserted into your anus. As Sakura said, it's not going to loosen your muscles and leave them loose. Most of the pain associated with anal sex comes fro either being nervous (not relaxed) or by your partner being too aggressive. While some swear by "practicing", the times that I have had anal sex, there was no prep work or practice. I was highly aroused and anticipating the event, which I believe was helpful. My partner also followed by lead and was very patient.

Of course anal sex can be messy, but it's not always. The condom serves a couple of purposed. It makes clean up easy, and it protects your partner from coming into contact with any bacteria. If bacteria does get into his urethra, he could (rare) get an infection. Also, anytime anything is used in the anus, it has to be cleaned prior to oral or vaginal contact.





iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2007
Sun, 01-20-2008 - 5:29pm

Yeah, the condom thing it's a bummer but you probably should. We don't always, but I also try to make a point of using the intermediate period to take a pee and clean well. It is actually riskier for the female as far as infections goes, and Gefyon can tell you about that, yet I think even she doesn't use a condom all the time. If you do your anal play last, or like I said, use rest time for a pee break and clean up, you should be good to go.


Messy, it would be a lie to tell you that it never happens, but I can tell you that it is rare, and when it does it'snot a big deal. Used food is stored in the lower or sigmoid colon and doesn't drop into the rectum till just before a bm. So, if you are having a regular healthy poo, you eat lots of veggies and get lots of fiber, have a bm several hours before play, and don't eat heavy carbs if you know you are gonna be wanting to play in the backyard, you will be good to go!


You can also take a quickee shower, soap up a finger or two and go for a wiggle. This achieves several things, it turns you on, relaxes the sphincter, and can ease the concern about hangers on. One step further would be a anal douche with just plain warm water, do this a couple hours before play, after a bm, and before or during a shower. Follow these steps and your cleanliness woes will be a thing of the past. To reassure you though, even the spontaneous romp is usually

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2007
Sun, 01-20-2008 - 8:20pm
Me and my fiance have done it many times and there has never been anything on him afterward. Just use lots of lubrication and you may have to try a couple of positions to find one thats comfortable to you. It may be a little uncomfortable at first but after the initial penetration its fine if your in the right position. One important thing, try not to be tense. If you are relaxed then it should be fine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2007
Sun, 01-20-2008 - 8:52pm

Dh and I are into spanking. I absolutely love it!! Dh will usually have me bent over a desk or on all fours.For some reason it really turns both of us on.I'm not sure how to suggest you start.I think if you google sensual or bdsm spanking some sites will pop up.Definitely pick a safe word,something that you wouldn't use everyday.So if you are uncomfortable your dh will know that means stop.


We've only tried anal sex once.I got tense so it did start to hurt.But I'm ready to try again.I just ordered some anal toys online.The company's don't advertise that it's a sex shop so if you want to order online,the mail person won't have a clue what it is....lol.I used to be embarrassed about buying condoms in a store....lol....so I understand how you feel.

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