Curious? Or for real...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2005
Curious? Or for real...
15
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 9:45pm
So I enjoy watching females in porn having sex/giving each other oral sex, whatever. Does this mean I'm gay? I'm with my boyfriend, who I love very very much. And I enjoy sex with him. But I can't help but wonder what it would be like to have sex with a female, and to see what it's like to go down on a female. What's wrong with me?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Fri, 07-29-2005 - 10:31am

I'll repeat once again, what many others have said. That is normal.

I also can be aroused by girl on girl porn and have on occasion fantisised about what it would be like but, I am definitely not gay or bi. I have had the opportunity, more than once to be with a woman and had no desire, in real life, to act upon those fantisies. There are several fantisies I have had that I would never do IRL, that is why they are called fantisies.

Danielle

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Fri, 07-29-2005 - 11:16am

First of all, there's nothing wrong with you, because where sexuality is concerned, there is no wrong or right.

What determines our sexual orientation? Is it attraction, arousal or both? I'm not an expert, but there was a recent article about bi-sexuality posted on another board. It seems from that the experts use attraction and arousal to determine sexuality.

http://www.azcentral.com/health/men/articles/0705sci-bisexual05.html

Personally, I have zero interest in women sexually. I don't get aroused by women in porn, I don't ever fantasize about them, and I never think about what it would be like to be with one.

Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Fri, 07-29-2005 - 2:28pm

Does that mean people who have MMF threesomes makes those two males gay?

Well....yeah, it kind of does. Fluids exchanged, scrotums touching if doing a DP, etc is pretty gay (not that there's anything wrong with it).

General rule: if you think you MIGHT be gay, then you most likely ARE gay.

**for example, I think I MIGHT be straight, and therefore I most likely AM straight.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Fri, 07-29-2005 - 10:10pm

I don't know that it means anything about your sexual preferences.

Long time ago, someone brought a porn video into a TV shop I worked at, and the tech was using it to align TV sets (how to motivate a very skilled, but unmotivated tech! Those TVs were very crisp, beautiful picture, great skintone). I suspect we were all spending way too long in the back that day, watching the video. At one point, I noted that all the guys were facinated by the video, even though it was a movie of blow jobs on men...not even breasts were shown on the women, but full shots of the man's penis and his ejaculation. Not sure anyone even noticed that, they were just relating to the guy receiving and enjoying the heck out of it. So no, a woman enjoying watching a woman receive oral sex would never convince me of any bi/homosexual-tendencies by itself. You could just be relating to being on the receiving end.

You could also be curious about how other women look. My experience is that most women seem to think their genitals are "unusual" looking, I'm sure in part because they don't get a chance to see other woman's bodies up close, usually. Even in a locker room, a woman's genitals are normally semi-hidden, unlike a man's which are out in the open for all to see. I've known a few women who were very reassured to see pictures of amateurs (rather than pro porn stars), and see that yes, their bodies are not abnormal, and how wonderfuly diverse women's bodies are.

Plus, women are fun to look at, and not just for men I suspect. "Men's magazines" have pictures of what? Women in tight fitting or skimpy clothing (or none). "Women's magazines" have..pictures of women in tight fitting or skimpy clothing (or none). I've known a several very hetrosexual women who would much rather look at a nude woman than a man. (and they wonder why us men have complexes!)

One could also just be curious. For example, I have ZERO interest in having a relationship with a man, don't particularly care to spend time with men, I have no sexual (or other) attraction to men... EXCEPT, I enjoy anal sex with my GF, I enjoy when she sucks me, I'm kinda curious what *her* experiences are with those acts (curious about her sensations of standard intercourse, too, but that's not something I have the equipment to experience!). Some, I'm sure, would happily define that as "gay"; if caring about the woman in my life is "gay", ok, I am. :)

It all comes down to definitions. If my GF told me she wanted to have an experience with another woman, I'd have no problem with that. If she wanted to have an on-going relationship with another woman..well, that would probably be another matter. At that point, it isn't even really about the sex, it's more about a complex relationship. And really, if her preference proved to be women, I guess I'd rather her be happy with her true self than repressing herself with me (so far, no evidence of that -- even though she enjoys looking at porn herself, and obviously looks at the women more than the men).

The labels you put on it really don't matter -- it is what it means to you and your boyfriend that counts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 6:02pm
I get turned on by females in porn but I think it's more of imagining how whats going on in the porn would feel.

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