This Debate might make your Blood Boil!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
This Debate might make your Blood Boil!
25
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 3:13pm
Dr. Laura Says Women Share the Blame for Husband's Infidelity



http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23575221/



Who's side are you on?



Interestingly enough, it's the man in this group who says men who cheat on their wives are selfish. There were some other interesting things said too -- I'll paraphrase some of them here:



- Men have a need to sow their seed, fed by the primal urge, which passed the trait down through heritage.



- The more successful and important a man is, the more likely he is to cheat.



- Men need validation from women, starting at birth. If they don't get that validation from their partner, they are more likely to cheat.



Now, the big one (from Dr. Laural) ...



- When a wife doesn't take care of him, he makes a decision to repair what's damaged, to feed himself where he's starving. She holds women responsible for tossing out good men by not fulfilling their needs. (Hmmm, could this have anything to do with validating her own actions?)





Here are some questions to answer ...



Do you think it's a primal urge for men to cheat?



Do you think the urge was passed on with their heritage?



Do you think men cheat to validate their manhood?



Do you think hormones make them not look at their activity?



Do you think men should be able to think for themselves instead of with hormones?



Do you think women are to blame for men cheating?



Any thing else you would like to add to the discussion?









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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2007
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 3:29pm
I saw this on the Today show this morning. Now, Misty, you can't let Dr. Laura raise your blood pressure or pretty soon you'll have steam coming out your ears! Like the old saying goes, "Consider the source."



Em





Black sig<
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 3:39pm
Do you think it's a primal urge for men to cheat? No

Do you think the urge was passed on with their heritage? No



Do you think men cheat to validate their manhood? No



Do you think hormones make them not look at their activity? No



Do you think men should be able to think for themselves instead of with hormones? Yes



Do you think women are to blame for men cheating? I think it greatly depends on the individual situation. I think there are some unfaithful men who are constitutionally incapable of monogamy, and others who reluctantly arrive at a decision to cheat after a long period of not having their needs met and who for one reason or another are not willing or able to end their marriage.



Any thing else you would like to add to the discussion? Why is this discussion framed solely in terms of cheating men? What about women who are unfaithful to their husbands, and the part (if any) that those husbands play in their wife's choice to be unfaithful?




iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 3:42pm

I wonder



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 3:46pm
"Why is this discussion framed solely in terms of cheating men?"


Well, I guess you have to blame that one on the Today Show. They didn't cover women in this segment.


I feel the same about cheating for men as I do for women, and while the numbers aren't as large for women cheating (according to statistics that keep getting displayed), there's a lot of both going on. The arguments about the "primal urge" just have me ROFLMAO ... and I don't see how we would be able to attach that to women.




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 3:55pm
I don't know that judging those who cheat is what this is about ... for me, it's more about what the three people had to say about men who cheat. Since they limited their discussion to men, that's all we have here.



"I say each person has the right to do what they feel is right for them."



If they would have said this, then it would have been one thing. What they were doing, for the most part, IMO, is validating those choices by placing blame on others (or other things).



I think people need to "own" their decisions ... not blame others for making whatever choice they made. There is always more than one approach when solving a problem.





iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 4:08pm

I don't believe it's any one person at fault. Depending on the circumstances, it could be both of their faults. I suppose like anything, you'd have to hear both sides of a story. If the couple had a good sexual relationship, then he/she is a fool for cheating. If one partner wasn't performing for the other, then I would have a different response. This probably makes no sense. I know in my head what I'm trying to say, it's just not coming out right.

286d0cf847.jpg picture by nhgal2006


friends.png image by nhgal2006



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 4:13pm




iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2008
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 4:18pm

Do you think it's a primal urge for men to cheat? No


Do you think the urge was passed on with their heritage? No


Do you think men cheat to validate their manhood? Maybe some. Those that are insecure.


Do you think hormones make them not look at their activity? No.


Do you think men should be able to think for themselves instead of with hormones? Sure


Do you think women are to blame for men cheating? No


Any thing else you would like to add to the discussion:


Dr. Laura was way to general in that answer. There are 300,000,000 stories in this country and each of them varies to some degree. This notion of "primal urge" is hogwash. I have had plenty of opportunities to cheat on DW and never have chosen to do so. I made a commitment through my vows to her in marriage and they mean something to me. Integrity.


I grew up with a Mom and Dad who were married over 60 years (before her death) and they set a strong example for the give and take of a commited relationship.


Men don't need excuses to cheat. It just takes opportunity and a lack of will power and integrity.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 4:46pm
*I think people need to "own" their decisions ... not blame others for making whatever choice they made.*

I totally agree with this.




iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 5:25pm

Do you think it's a primal urge for men to cheat?

RSG-Diva.jpg RSG-Diva picture by not_dead_yet_2007

 

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