did I exhibit "man" behavior?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2007
did I exhibit "man" behavior?
8
Sun, 12-09-2007 - 2:36pm

I met a great guy at a bookstore. He asked for my number and called me the next night and we went out two Wed and Thurs of this week. At the end of our Thurs date, I slept with him. I definitely had one drink too many but it was a deliberate decision on my part. This is very unusual behavior for me but I was very attracted to him and wanted to. After it was over, he cleaned up and came back to bed and started to settle in. He did all the right things, said it was great, said it had been a very long time for him, etc. I guess I felt awkward (I had my period, he had white sheets, I had no supplies, etc.) and started to get dressed. He asked me to stay but I told him I had meetings in the morning and needed to get home. He was still great, talking and kissing me. He walked me to the door and I left around 5:00am

He is divorced with a 9-year old son and he has his son this weekend. I texted him Friday and told him I was glad we were able to get together and to have a good weekend. He texted back immediately and said "it was great. Have a good weekend too".

These are my questions: did I ruin this by moving it forward to quickly? did I send him the wrong signal and let him think this was usual behavior for me and that the night didn't mean anything to me? and given my confusing behavior should I contact him?

I like this guy and would hate to think I ruined my chances of this becoming a relationship. Your thoughts / advice please.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Sun, 12-09-2007 - 2:53pm
It sounds like you were ready to have sex with this guy, and you did. Good for you. If he responded right away to your text, and said, "it was great," it certainly doesn't sound like he has any issues with your behavior. You're way over analyzing this, and if it does turn into a serious relationship this is the kind of thing you're both going to look back on and laugh at.







iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2007
Sun, 12-09-2007 - 3:14pm

{{It sounds like you were ready to have sex with this guy, and you did. Good for you. If he responded right away to your text, and said, "it was great," it certainly doesn't sound like he has any issues with your behavior. You're way over analyzing this, and if it does turn into a serious relationship this is the kind of thing you're both going to look back on and laugh at.}}

Thanks Steve. I'm glad to have a guy's perspective. One follow-up question, if I may.

I know his weekend is busy with his son, etc but is it a bad sign that he didn't call on Friday? If I don't hear from him by Monday night, should I call him or should I expect that he's just "not that into me"?

I would appreciate any additional thoughts you might have.

Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Sun, 12-09-2007 - 3:32pm

Welcome to the board, datingnewyorker.

It sounds like he's very interested in you at this point, so I wouldn't worry so much that things moved too quickly. While I suspect that you will hear from him by Monday night, I think it depends on you as to whether you call him or not.

I certainly wouldn't stage any excuses, but if I wanted to see him again, I would call.





iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Sun, 12-09-2007 - 3:42pm
What Misty said. While from the sound of things he most likely will call, if he doesn't and you want to see him again then by all means you should call him. None of us are very good at reading minds, so if you leap to the conclusion that he's not that into you, you might be shortchanging both of you of the chance to have a relationship. The only way to know for sure whether he's into you or not, is to talk to him, and ask.







iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2007
Sun, 12-09-2007 - 3:54pm

Hi Steve, Hi Misty. Thanks for the nice welcome and your thoughts. I realize I am obsessing about this way too much and your words were a big help. I appreciate your kindess.

Be well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Thu, 12-13-2007 - 5:54pm
Sounds to me like everything's fine. He may not have called just because he was busy and was focused on spending the weekend with his son. Remember that even when we're interested, we don';t necessarily feel the need to plan every minute of teh future - sometimes we're content to let some time pass and call when we get around to it.

--


martinisnsushi - living the good life since 1963

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martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2007
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 2:53pm

Hi Christy, Steve, and MartiniSushi. Thank you all for your responses to my posting.

The good news is my new friend called Tuesday night and we saw each other again Thursday night and have another date for this coming Tuesday. Glad to say things were great and all my concerns seem to have been unfounded.

I have been out of the dating scene for a bit and I guess I forgot how confusing it can be. As you all suggested, I just need to calm down and let things develop as they will.

Thanks again for your help and suggestions.

I hope you all have great holidays! gena

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 3:59pm
Thanks for stopping by to let us know how it went, Gena!