Difficulty penetrating

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Difficulty penetrating
6
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 4:35pm
I am really hoping someone can clue me in. Am in my second marriage and we have been trying to have sex and I have no problem getting an erection but I cannot seem to penetrate. I am of average size and am ready willing and able. My wife is 45 and sexually inexperienced. She is not at all lubricated when we attempt to have sex and I believe that this is a large part of the problem. I am suggesting KY to lube her up but she is resistant to many proposals. She thinks there is something wrong with me. Unfortunately this is causing a lot of marital strain. I am pushing and struggling but it is like I am up against a brick wall. Can anyone suggest what I can do to make penetration easier. Thanks!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 5:15pm
Are you giving her enough foreplay.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 6:09pm
To add to what Tish said, will she perform oral on you? The saliva can help work as a natural lubricant, sp a little oral as foreplay then onto intercourse may help. Her inexperience may be causing her to be defensive and point the finger at you, she may not really mean that.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 3:43pm
Actually we probably are not having enough foreplay. The whole thing has stressed me out so much that for a while I was unable to even get an erection. Went to the doc and all is OK and tried Viagra which seems to have done the trick. Don't seem to need it anymore. The most stesseful part of the whole thing is she wants to get pregnant and we need to have sex on specific days. It just seems so unnatural to plan it in advance. She expects me to just do it and we have had even arguments about how it takes two to tango.

She will perform a little oral and that gets me instantly in the mood but I will definitely try more foreplay and fondling, a nice message to relax her and that combined with some KY hopefully will do the trick.

Thanks for the tips. It is embarrasing to talk about even through a forum but I feel better getting some feedback. Any other suggestions would be gratefully appreciated.

Thanks!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 4:10pm
do you know why she's resistant to the KY?

i know for me, that when my bf started using it- it almost felt like a criticism, like i wasn't 'wet enough' or something...but once he used it a couple times, i realized how AWESOME it is...

is it something like that do you think?? like she's taking it personally?? if so- i'd be really gentle with her and just ask if you could work it in manually first before trying to penetrate? maybe she doesn't realize that MOST women benefit from using some kind of lube!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 2:26am

I'm wondering if she can

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 9:40am
OY!! LOL! How many thumbs up can I add to that little symbol up there anyway?! ;)

I agree completely on surrendering the intercourse for a bit. Main rule I used with the Mrs. when she & I had our troubles at first was to keep on that forplay AND body massages. After a couple or a few days or maybe even a week had passed by, the amount of arousal from everything being done to her was too much to hold back. NUTSHELL: I focused on the 'other' ways of pleasing her and waited for 'her' to actually "ask" for intercourse.

Wait, we're talking about my wife, so that means I waited for her to "demand" intercourse. RAOFL!!!...ouch...

Anyway, dingy, please remember to check the other "sex" boards in the relationships' message board section as well. I think those areas will also be able to help you with tons of great on how to excite her (AND yourself) sexually without the intercourse...for those times that you have difficulty with it that is. These places have ideas that are really effective at getting people like us to really enjoy the pleasure from sex, whether foreplay or intercourse, despite the intent for simply wanting a baby.

BTW, I mention "people like us" because I'm guilty of desperately wanting a baby too. Mrs. Para & I agreed that our schedules and even level of patience at times could use some "adjusting" before we rush out and do it. Keep reading on the different sex boards and get some ideas on how to pleasure your Mrs. beyond her control, worked on mine and now I'm still limping from it. LOL!! (she returned the favor, without intercourse too, and my overexcitement actually caused a slight hamstring pull, but it hurt sooo good! LOL!)

hubby para

 

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