Dirty Talk

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2007
Dirty Talk
6
Fri, 06-06-2008 - 1:39pm
So my man would like me to talk dirty to him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: akamamma
Fri, 06-06-2008 - 2:54pm

Welcome to the board, Mamma.

When my dirty talk really kicked into high gear was when I started just letting the thoughts I was having during sex slip out of my mouth. It's a bit difficult to explain, but sometimes staged phrases just don't work, especially if you're already comfortable enough to be talking dirty.

Here are some things to think about that might help you get started:

- Tell him what you would like him to do.

- Tell him what feels good as he's doing it.

- Ask him if he likes what you're doing (or watching what you're doing).

- If he hits the right spot, say things to encourage him to stay there.

- Tell him when you feel like you are nearing an orgasm.

Here are some articles that might help too:

The Do’s and Don’t of Dirty Talk (Tracey Cox walks you through the process)
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,traceycox_c0pnkb69,00.html

Talk Dirty To Me
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,drpatti_2zpq,00.html

Dirty Talk: Encouraging Erotic Discussion
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,drpatti_8xb,00.html

Bad Libs: The Good Girls’ Guide to Talking Dirty
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,9j7q,00.html

Have fun with it, and let us know how it goes.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
In reply to: akamamma
Fri, 06-06-2008 - 10:37pm
Dirty talk doesnt have to be about sex itself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
In reply to: akamamma
Fri, 06-06-2008 - 11:38pm

I think sex talk works really well during foreplay. What you say will depend on who you want to have in control for the moment. I think if you are taking control, the best way to think of it is to pretend you are taking on the role of the dominatrix/ seductress and think about what she would say. If he is in control, you can either think of taking on a role of somebody who is being seduced or just talk about what you are enjoying in the moment.

The seductress/ domanatrix works really well when you want to be in control. Ex. "Just relax..." said in a sultry tone of voice. Then when he gets hard or orgasms, "Good boy," said in the same tone of voice. While you're in this role, you can talk about sexual things you'd like to do with him. Ex., "I'd like to tie you up and lick you up and down." You can also ask things like, "Are you enjoying this?" while you are doing this. Again, the secret to this role is the tone of voice. Think of what a seductress would sound like and try to imitate it as best you can.

Then when you want to hand over control to him, you switch to another type of talk. One that I like is to pretend you are in the role of a girl who is being seduced against her will by telling him no but showing him yes. Basically, you say things like, "no", "Please don't" or "please stop" while sounding out of breath and helpless. At the same time, you kiss him passionately or thrust your hips against him indicating another part of you doesn't want him to stop. Some guys will feel uncomfortable with this because it does cast him in the evil role, but you can see how your guy responds to. You may also want to let him know ahead of time that won't mean what you're saying if you've never said those things before so he doesn't get confused.

If you are not trying to pretend to act disinterested, then pretty much ANYTHING you say to let him know you are enjoying yourself will work. The examples you gave are good ones. "Oh yeah, right there!", "Don't stop!" "Oh god, you're sexy!" The trick is really to use the right tone of voice. Then anything saying you're enjoying yourself will work. Even if it's just, "I like that." The tone of voice is probably more important even than what's being said during sex talk.

I hope that helps and gives you some ideas about where you want to go with this. Just go with what type of talk you are in the mood for. If you can start enjoying it, then he'll enjoy it as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2008
In reply to: akamamma
Sat, 06-07-2008 - 2:17am

Then when you want to hand over control to him, you switch to another type of talk. One that I like is to pretend you are in the role of a girl who is being seduced against her will by telling him no but showing him yes. Basically, you say things like, "no", "Please don't" or "please stop" while sounding out of breath and helpless. At the same time, you kiss him passionately or thrust your hips against him indicating another part of you doesn't want him to stop. Some guys will feel uncomfortable with this because it does cast him in the evil role, but you can see how your guy responds to. You may also want to let him know ahead of time that won't mean what you're saying if you've never said those things before so he doesn't get confused.


I really wouldn't recommend moving into games like this without a "safeword" set up.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to: akamamma
Sat, 06-07-2008 - 8:57am

I agree with Laura, that's all

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
In reply to: akamamma
Sat, 06-07-2008 - 3:52pm
I've found that the few times I needed my guy to stop during this type of thing, I could convey the message by just changing to a more serious tone of voice. But I agree with you guys. Having a safe word never hurts and is a very good idea to avoid confusion.