Discussing Fantasies with DH/SO

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Discussing Fantasies with DH/SO
3
Thu, 07-21-2005 - 4:48pm

I asked this over on the Fantasies Q&A board but didn't get much response (1, in 36 hours).

I'm curious about you ladies who have been or are reluctant to discuss your sexual fantasies with your DH/SO (although you may not be reluctant now).

Why were you reluctant to share them with him? If you've overcome your reluctance, what enabled you to share? Do you share all your fantasies now? If you still hold some back, why?

Thanks everyone.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-21-2005 - 5:54pm

Fear of judgement or criticism would be the primary reason why people might feel reticent about sharing personal thoughts or fantasies, I would think.

My DH and I have shared most of our fantasies with one another but my guess is that most couples hold back some things just for themselves. Why? Because it may be a private fantasy that is used primarily for personal purposes.

I'm quite sure that many men and women fantasize about other people during masturbation, and telling a partner those things might be TMI! LOL!




Edited 7/21/2005 6:00 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Thu, 07-21-2005 - 6:06pm

I know that I've had the odd fantasy about binding my partner to the bed with some rope and a blindfold and indulging in a little bondage session. But I wouldn't discuss it with her in depth because I already know that she would not be interested and would be somewhat freaked out by the idea. She would be a little concerned about my motivations and, knowing how she thinks, she would fear the worst of me. As far as I can tell, it has always been a rare fantasy and I'm quite happy for it to stay that way. I've no strong desire to actually do it, and there is no point talking about it given the reaction I'd get.

As kat said, fear of judgement and criticism, and creating a concern for my partner where there is no reason to be concerned would be my reasons.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 07-21-2005 - 7:26pm
Most of our fantasies we tell each other about especially if they are a fantasy we want to make happen.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd