Do men fantasize during sex?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Do men fantasize during sex?!
11
Sun, 09-12-2004 - 9:40pm
I just really want to know how many men actually fantasize during sex. I know that my boyfriend would never cheat on me, but he has a female internet buddy, and has gone to her website to look at pictures of her. He actually thinks that I don't know (He thinks I would be mad)!! She is not pornstarish or anything, but for some reason, he just doesn't like chatting with men. I just want to know if he is fanasizing about her when he is with me, because that would really crush me, but at the same time, I need to know. I don't want to ask him because I found out about this by uncrinkling a crumpled piece of paper that had missed the trash, and there was a weird website on there. When I looked at it, it was a woman's website, and he had deleated it off the internet history on my browser. He loves me very much and we live together and have a baby together. We really are very happy, but I want to know if he is just curious or if I need to worry about where his mind is!! Please tell me the truth!! I can handle it!!

HALIGR

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 09-12-2004 - 10:17pm

There is no one here who can tell you if your guy fantasizes about another women when he is having sex with you.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Sun, 09-12-2004 - 11:03pm
I don't know, that's something I have never asked my DH of 19 years. Maybe he does, and maybe he doesn't but I don't know and I don't want to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 1:21am
There is no way anyone knows if your man fantasizes about anything, he's the only one who knows that. Some men do fantasize, some don't. They don't have to look at web sites to fantasize.

I would be more concerned about why he's talking to another woman on line, and what they're talking about. If you really trust him you wouldn't have taken the time to check it out. How do you know he deleted something from the history? Maybe he never even talked to her. Now that you've opened the can of worms, the only way to figure out what is going on is to ask him about it. If he HAS been talking to her, he must not have wanted you to know about it if he took the time to delete it from the history. Why?

You can either ask him, or you can put it out of your mind, and forget about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 3:30pm
Hi haligr! Just a thought from a hubby here.

The relationship you two have is too great to not trust each other and talk about your concerns...ESPECIALLY when it involves the absolute most intimate part of your relationship. Most of us would find nothing wrong with you addressing a concern you have with something he is doing, when it involves another female as a friend who's friendly enough for him to chat with often, but we will never know as much as YOU will when it comes to how he will react anyway.

I have the type of relationship that does not restrict either of us to question something in such a similar nature. In fact, my wife has been a member here on ivillage for quite a while now and sees/knows everything I post here. So instead of us hiding things and/or even feelings or concerns from each other, we had enough trust to address them and diffuse ANY issues. If you're able to, then its your turn.

If he cares about what makes you happy and also what makes you uncomfortable, then you are in such a better position for communication than many of the other ladies were that have posted here from time to time.

Wish the best for ya!

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 3:35pm
To the O.P.......To answer your question..Yes I`m sure many men may think of an actress, model, co-worker during sex, especially if they need that lil extra boost to get off. Does your boy friend?..I dont know, perhaps. Just remember hes with you, and I guess its better having him thinking of her when hes with you ,than it would be having him thinking of you when hes with her.. It`s harmless.. Have you ever thought about someone sexy you know of ,while you are having sex?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 4:10pm
dont you. i cant have sex without thinking about someone else my bf is too boring too get me over that edge. i have my favorites or i need porn
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 4:21pm
You are so right!! I think that I really over-reacted, and I guess I should just let it go. I know that my bf is not having any sort of sexual relatioship with this woman, I was just shocked that he hid it from me. He probably did because he knew I would over-react, and obviously he was right!! We have sort of a bad history, so that is why I sometimes get upset about things that I shouldn't, so I guess I should remember that it is history. It is in the past and it doesn't matter now!! I guess the fact that I don't even know if he talked to her once, or twice, or a hundred times should deter me from worrying, and besides, like someone said, I don't even know for sure if he went onto her website!! Thanks for helping me give my head a shake!!

HALIGR

p.s- no I do not fantasis about others when I am with him. I think my boyfriend is the sexiest guy I've ever laid eyes on, and so I don't need to!! I won't even discuss the porn comment, good for you, but let's just say it is not for me!! Thanks again!


Edited 9/13/2004 4:24 pm ET ET by haligr

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 4:25pm
I am like you only my favorite is my fiance's father. He's a very distinguishing looking man and I can't help myself. Particularly when my bf is giving me oral. It's my favorite fantasy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2004
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 12:32pm
Yes, I think most guys fantisize during sex. It's just a fact of life. Few guys will ever admit to it. While inside his woman, he may imagine/fantasize he is inside an attractive woman at work, somebody he saw at the mall, on the internet, or he is the last virile man left on earth and it's his task to seed the remaining fertile women. It's just a fact of life of being male. He takes care of you and loves you. There is a difference between the genders.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2004
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 1:05pm
yeah dude you are right. i have sex with lots of women while using my girl's body. close your eyes concentrate and you can be with any1. i got caught once when i was cumming and i screamed out my girls sisters name instead of hers. bwahahahaha

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