If you are having boring sex with a partner who you are not attracted to, there are more important questions you should be asking yourself than 'why am I faking orgasms?'. Like 'why am I living a lie?' and 'why am I content to deprive myself of something that should be enjoyable?'
It's called marriage. You know, 'for better or for worse'.
That's one reason I told my sons to try to have as much sex as they could before they get married, because after that it will pretty much be over. They told me that I wasn't the only married man who had told them that, and their friends have heard pretty much the same thing. I don't know how common that is, but it may be one explanation for why so many young people are putting off getting married. At least that would explain it for the men, LOL.
Old joke: Scientists have determined that there foods that cause women to loose all interest in sex. By far the most common cause of this loss is wedding cake. LOL
Rice, I'm sorry you're in an unhappy marriage, at least sexually unhappy, but I honestly don't think that your life is "typical". I also don't think you should have told your sons to expect what you have.
It's unfortunate that there are women (and probably some men, too) that don't like sex, and unfortunate for their partner as well. But, if it can't be fixed, you either learn to live with it (which is sounds like you have), or you end it.
Even in your situation, why would you bother "faking it"? I'm sure your wife is well aware that you're not happy with your sex life, or lack of it. I'm not a man, but I think if I were in that situation, I'd just take care of myself.....and not "bother" her.
<<<< " Men can also have dry orgasms, so while it may "seem" they are faking one, they are in fact not faking one." >>>>>
THAT's TRUE! Although most men don't know it.
I have a book (by a PhD Sex Therapist ... will get name if anyone wants it) which instructs men on technique for MEN to HAVE MULTIPLE ORGASIMS. Author runs a clinic in Ca that teaches it too.
I practiced the exericses and it takes some real work, but got to point that I could have a nonejaculataory climax. Not easy or often, unless you keep doing the "training" exercises.
Baiscally, it amounts to exercises to masturbate to certain levels and stop ... wait a bit .. start over and take it a nocth closer to climax .. and stop ... and keep doing this taking if furhter up on an 1 to 10 scale until you can get to the edge ... like a 9 (where 10 is climax) and stop and experience a climax in that process without ejaculating.
I have not found any men or sex partners who realized this (not that I talk about it with men much) ... so that says it has to be very little known or accomplished. But, its valid for those who learn and practice the techniques. Incidentially, the help of a partner in the process of working up and stopping is not essential but recommended if avialable by author.
It is nice in that it can be very fullfilling (just like a full climax but in a little different sense of satisfaction) and it can allow you to fell very content if you don't ever climax if you get get the "dry climaxes". The ideal of course is to do this numerous times and then culminate in an ejaculatory climax after the lady has had numerous climaxes and is satisfied. It has worked well for me and my partners.
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Boring sex, not attracted to your partner at all, a tactful way to explain that is by saying the relationship is not working for
It's called marriage. You know, 'for better or for worse'.
That's one reason I told my sons to try to have as much sex as they could before they get married, because after that it will pretty much be over. They told me that I wasn't the only married man who had told them that, and their friends have heard pretty much the same thing. I don't know how common that is, but it may be one explanation for why so many young people are putting off getting married. At least that would explain it for the men, LOL.
Old joke: Scientists have determined that there foods that cause women to loose all interest in sex. By far the most common cause of this loss is wedding cake. LOL
Rice, I'm sorry you're in an unhappy marriage, at least sexually unhappy, but I honestly don't think that your life is "typical". I also don't think you should have told your sons to expect what you have.
It's unfortunate that there are women (and probably some men, too) that don't like sex, and unfortunate for their partner as well. But, if it can't be fixed, you either learn to live with it (which is sounds like you have), or you end it.
Even in your situation, why would you bother "faking it"? I'm sure your wife is well aware that you're not happy with your sex life, or lack of it. I'm not a man, but I think if I were in that situation, I'd just take care of myself.....and not "bother" her.
Edited 3/10/2007 2:38 am ET by sakura2006
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WOW, your question has really sparked this thread to go in many directions....I'll take my shot here!
YES men can fake orgasms
Men can also have dry orgasms, so while it may "seem" they are faking one, they are in fact not faking one.
I'll not speculate "why" they might fake one....as you have not asked, and I think that answer depends on too many other factors.
<<<< " Men can also have dry orgasms, so while it may "seem" they are faking one, they are in fact not faking one." >>>>>
THAT's TRUE! Although most men don't know it.
I have a book (by a PhD Sex Therapist ... will get name if anyone wants it) which instructs men on technique for MEN to HAVE MULTIPLE ORGASIMS. Author runs a clinic in Ca that teaches it too.
I practiced the exericses and it takes some real work, but got to point that I could have a nonejaculataory climax. Not easy or often, unless you keep doing the "training" exercises.
Baiscally, it amounts to exercises to masturbate to certain levels and stop ... wait a bit .. start over and take it a nocth closer to climax .. and stop ... and keep doing this taking if furhter up on an 1 to 10 scale until you can get to the edge ... like a 9 (where 10 is climax) and stop and experience a climax in that process without ejaculating.
I have not found any men or sex partners who realized this (not that I talk about it with men much) ... so that says it has to be very little known or accomplished. But, its valid for those who learn and practice the techniques. Incidentially, the help of a partner in the process of working up and stopping is not essential but recommended if avialable by author.
It is nice in that it can be very fullfilling (just like a full climax but in a little different sense of satisfaction) and it can allow you to fell very content if you don't ever climax if you get get the "dry climaxes". The ideal of course is to do this numerous times and then culminate in an ejaculatory climax after the lady has had numerous climaxes and is satisfied. It has worked well for me and my partners.
RON
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