do most guys do this????

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
do most guys do this????
63
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 7:55am
Question for guys or girls. Just curious....in a newer relationship, do most guys typically "pull out"? Is this an intimacy issue, or are they just strictly not taking chances with pregnancy? Does this ever change, like once you've become exclusive or long term, and the girl is on the birth control, etc.?

thanks!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2004
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 9:20am
Assuming he doesn't have an intimacy issue, it's normal for a guy to "pull out" the first couple times with a new partner. A gentleman doesn't ejaculate into another person's body without permission and BC info.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 9:29am

That would of course depend on the guy, the relationship, his feelings.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2003
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 10:48am
If you are at the point of being intimate, and your on birth control, I see know reason why he would pull out at the last minute. Maybe he has watched too many porn movies and wants to see the money shot.

When he pulls out dose he ejaculate all over you?

Maybe it is something that turns him on.

We can all guess why, but the sure way to find out is ask him. Then you might get the true answer from him.

As for me If I was in a relationship where we were at the point of making love. No way am I pulling out.

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anonymous user
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 12:51pm
When my bf and I first started dating he always pulled out. Then one time he asked me if I wanted him to pull out and I told him no. I had never asked him to pull out and had never had a bf do that before. I don't know why he did it. He will do it sometimes now just for a change, though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 1:46pm
>>A gentleman doesn't ejaculate into another person's body without permission<<

I disagree with that. If you are having sexual intercourse I would have thought that it is normal practice to ejeculate IN her. Permission for intercourse IS permission to ejeculate. This is assuming that he is aware that you are using birth control properly.

IMHO, it's either because this was normal practice in his last relationship for some reason or he isn't sure if you are on birth control. In which case, you have to question why he is prepared to have any intercourse without (in his mind) any birth control.

Another reason: Perhaps he feels uncomfortable ejeculating in you until he is entirely comfortable with you, the relationship, the long-term relationship with you and the "What if you got pregnant?" question. I must admit that I have been in the situation the odd time where I have wondered about a girl's motivation for dating me and have wondered if I was being considered a "good catch". I have known girls that use getting pregnant as leverage to maintain a relationship with a guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 3:04pm


>>>>>>>I disagree with that. If you are having sexual intercourse I would have thought that it is normal practice to ejeculate IN her. Permission for intercourse IS permission to ejeculate. This is assuming that he is aware that you are using birth control properly.<<<<<<<

Hey, hey hey. That shows SUCH a lack of respect for the woman you have sex with, you know. A woman having sex does not mean that she's giving you PERMISSION to let off inside of her. How did you honestly figure that??? I'm completely being serious and I'm not trying to gang up on you but where did you ever come to understand that??

Having sex, whether it's because two people are in lust or whether they are deeply in love, means the possibility of pregnancy is ALWAYS there and if the people aren't ready for that, then pulling out on the guys' part shows 1.) responsibility and 2.) respect for his partner.

That is the first time I've ever heard a person say that before. In primitive times, yes it was normal to ejaculate in a woman because the purpose of sex was to bring in offspring, but in times like this..sorry that's not the idea. People have sex because they want IT not children. (Not in all cases, obviously but you get my drift) You seem like a smart guy, I'm sure you wouldn't let off in a girl if she didn't want you to but never ASSUME that having sex means you just GET to let off in her. That's why you're supposed to ask.

ash

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 3:14pm
Whether it's a new or old relationship, the guy should take the responsibility of asking. If he asks you, that means he's looking out for both of you and himself. I know a lot of guys who won't let off unless they're using a condom. Girls lie about taking bc all the time, so that's their way of protecting themselves I think, which is smart. So no it's not an intimacy issue for the most part but it does depend on the guy.

I'm sure that as two people progress in their relationship they will become more comfortable with the idea of not pulling out. I know I sometimes think about it since I started having sex which wasn't ALL that long ago. Honestly being on bc and using condoms just doesn't ease my nerves enough yet. A lot of women are just paranoid about getting pregnant and they prefer if the guy pulls out. That's my situation. It depends on what the woman wants, I think. Until a woman is completely secure with the idea of going off inside, the guy should ask throughout the relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 3:19pm
>>A woman having sex does not mean that she's giving you PERMISSION to let off inside of her. How did you honestly figure that??? <<

What???????

So there I am having sex with someone that I've been dating for while. I know that she's on birth control (we've probably had at least a basic discussion and agreement about that) so pregnancy is not an issue. We're having full-on intercourse and you're telling me that I've now got to actually ask if I can cum in her???????????

Wow. The rules have changed. I'm serious too and I'm not trying to be argumentative about this. I'm stunned to think that now I've got "permission" to have unprotected (as in no condom) intercourse that I also have to worry about whether or not I had permission to ejeculate in her.

I would have thought that it would work the other way - if she DIDN'T want me to ejeculate in her she would tell me.

So what do you do if some guy randomly ejeculates in you without asking after you've just screamed "Give it to me hot and hard, big boy!"

Throw him out of the bedroom??????

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 3:21pm

Q: You know what you call couples who use the "pull out" method of birth control?


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martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 3:30pm
>>>"Give it to me hot and hard, big boy!" <<< LMAO nice!! No I'd prolly say something like..no I'm not telling you what I'd say lmao im just kidding!!

No okay if you're in a serious relationship and you've talked about it and she tells you she doesn't care if you let off in her, obviously it's different.

I'm saying that if you guys just start having sex and you don't ask her what she wants, regardless of whether she's on birth control and or you've got a condom on, you should ask her and see if she's alright with that.

>>>>I would have thought that it would work the other way - if she DIDN'T want me to ejeculate in her she would tell me.<<<<<<

I'm speaking from my own experience...he asked me what I felt comfortable with, and I told him I wanted him out right before...even if I get caught up in the moment, PULL OUT. I actually said that to him. And he was really understanding and he's respected it ever since.

My point was Pregnancy is always an issue, come on. Whether you see yourself with this person 20 years from now or not. There's a lot more to having kids than just having a god relationship. The whole finances thing, the agreeing on how to raise, everything, the whole -shabang. But anyways I just think that you should ask, out of respect..not EVERY time but you know what I mean.



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