do most guys do this????

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
do most guys do this????
63
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 7:55am
Question for guys or girls. Just curious....in a newer relationship, do most guys typically "pull out"? Is this an intimacy issue, or are they just strictly not taking chances with pregnancy? Does this ever change, like once you've become exclusive or long term, and the girl is on the birth control, etc.?

thanks!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 8:56pm

I'm with you on this Westridge.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 9:26pm
>>>>If you ARE on birthcontrol and have given permission for intercourse why on earth shouldn't a guy expect to ejeculate inside you?<<<<<<

Because...in case you didn't know birth control is 99% effective, and even lesser if she is taking ANY sort of medication and there's ALWAYS a chance of pregnancy!!!

Some women don't feel comfortable with a guy letting off inside because they become paranoid about pregnancy. I know for me, if he let off in me, it would take over my mind and I would just get completely paranoid and scared. Girls don't EXPECT a guy to let off inside I don't think. I guess it depends on the person. I don't EXPECT my bf to let off inside.

Does it make guys feel bad or something if a girl doesn't want them to let off inside??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 10:00pm
I really do think it shows respect on the guys part. I mean if the relationship is very serious and everything, then asking isn't necessary seeing as both people would be aware of each others take on the whole thing. I donno I think asking first, shows that he really cares and that he's being open and smart about it.

Just my opinion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 10:17pm
>>>>If you ARE on birthcontrol and have given permission for intercourse why on earth shouldn't a guy expect to ejeculate inside you?<<<<<<

>Because...in case you didn't know birth control is 99% effective,<

But that's my point. Why bother with birth control at all? If you are using birth control but don't trust it you might as well NOT be using any in the first place.

As said before the leakage during intercourse but before orgasm is full of sperm anyway.

It's like always wearing a raincoat but then standing under a tree to keep yourself dry 'just in case' you might get wet if you step out form under the tree. The tree ain't gonna keep you completely dry. Pulling out ain't gonna keep you completely sperm-free.

Nope. I see what you mean and I think that you are being overly paranoid about getting pregnant. But, hey, that's what you want so you are perfectly entitled to it regardless of what anyone-else thinks! :-)


>>Girls don't EXPECT a guy to let off inside I don't think.<<

I think that they do. If you're not using condoms and give a guy permission (in whatever form that may be) to have intercourse with you then you better be ready to be ejeculated in. I don't know a girl today that wouldn't anticipate him cumming in them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 10:46pm
"I don't know a girl today that wouldn't anticipate him cumming in them."

I have never attached any intimacy to a man ejaculating inside of me. Maybe that's because ever since I married my DH, he's never done it, with the exception of when we were trying to get pregnant. Even then, there wasn't anything intimate about it, it just was.

If you're wondering why he hasn't ejaculated inside of me, it's because neither of us use b/c. My periods were always exactly 28 days. I used the rhythm method so that during ovulation, he would not penetrate at all(or we would opt for condoms). All other times, he withdrew, and I never became pregnant. ***WARNING*** I rarely post this because I DON'T recommend it to anyone who wouldn't accept getting pregnant. I don't advocate the rhythm method. Before me my DH had another girlfriend who was on birth control, but he was still very afraid that she'd forget to take it(she was very young)and would get pregnant. I guess this is where he learned his great ability to withdraw. Before we were married, we used condoms, but afterwards, we stopped. I did not want to go on birth control, and he hated condoms, so we used the rhythm method IN COMBINATION with withdrawal to reduce the possibility of pregnancy. It worked for us. In over 20 years, I never got pregnant.

He doesn't complain, and he's not some porn jerk who gets his willies out of ejacualting all over me. During the times when we were trying to get pregnant as well as during the pregnancies themselves, he was happy to cum inside of me(and so was I), but not because it was intimate, but for more obvious reasons, no interuption at all for him. We look forward to the next few years after I'll go through my changes(they're already beginning). Perhaps one of us should have gotton fixed, and maybe if I had gotten pregnant unexpectedly, it might have been the route to go. However, that didn't happen, and we have had, and look forward to many many more years of wonderful sex. And even after I can't get pregnant any longer, he'll still be ejaculating outside of my vagina because we don't always finish that way anyhow.

So, no, I don't anticipate a man ejaculating inside of me. It's of no significance to me, although it may be for him, for obvious reasons. I guess that makes me one girl who doesn't.





Edited 11/1/2004 11:58 pm ET ET by inquisitive_lurker

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 11:09pm
>>Does it make guys feel bad or something if a girl doesn't want them to let off inside??

<<

Absolutely!!! If you want to torture a man, that's the way to do it. Pulling out is a let down of the worst type for most men. A real anti-climax.

Anyway, I'm firmly in the camp of Westridge, Tally and Tish. I've had nearly 20 partners and NEVER have I met a guy who would be happy to pull out, let alone offer to. It's just weird.

The fact that his penis is in my vagina is permission to ejaculate. If I wasn't comfortable with his ejaculation, then NO WAY would I let him inside me in the first place. As for the pregnancy issue, pulling out does not assist in avoiding pregnancy, so why bother?

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 11:15pm
Westridge, just reiterating my support for your posts. You are describing normal sex between normal people. Or at least, it's what the sex I've had has been like.

In one of your latter posts, you said that most girls would expect a man to orgasm inside them. I fully agree. If he pulled out, I'd be most offended....and if he did it twice it would be a deal breaker.


Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 12:10am
i know two dudes who got their gfs pregnant when she suppose to be on bc pill.i dont want to be a daddy so i use condoms to be extra safe.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 6:06am
I agree with you Tish and Westridge.

My, I guess the rules have changed! I sure am glad that Im not single because I would be so confused at all these new rules lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 6:19am
I'm not thinking of respect or caring or smarts, in this caseI'm just thinking it's strange. I'm 38 and I've never heard of this. Why is it smart? Caring and smart would be to talk beforehand - are you sure you want to do this, there's no pressure, are you using BC, I *will* use a condom, etc etc.

What do you do if he does without 'asking permission'? Shove him away, jump out of bed and cry "EWWWW! I can't believe you CAME inside me!" Or act hurt and offended? Or decide he doesn't care.

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