do most guys do this????

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
do most guys do this????
63
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 7:55am
Question for guys or girls. Just curious....in a newer relationship, do most guys typically "pull out"? Is this an intimacy issue, or are they just strictly not taking chances with pregnancy? Does this ever change, like once you've become exclusive or long term, and the girl is on the birth control, etc.?

thanks!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 6:32am
When my sons were still living at home and could not afford to support a child on their own, we advised them to use condoms at all times, even if they were in a relationship with a woman who was on the pill.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/bc/you_and_pill.htm#_1

Effectiveness

The pill is one of the most effective reversible methods of birth control. Of 100 women who use the pill, only eight will become pregnant during the first year of typical use.* Fewer than one will become pregnant with perfect use.**

Certain medicines may make the pill less effective. These include

the antibiotic rifampin. Other antibiotics do not make the pill less effective.

certain anti-fungals that are taken orally for yeast infections

certain anti-HIV protease inhibitors

certain anti-seizure medications

Talk to your clinician about the medicines you already take before you get a prescription for any prescription method of birth control.

Vomiting and diarrhea may also keep the pill from working. Ask your clinician for advice. Until you are sure, use an additional method of birth control.

It is very important to remember that the pill does not protect against sexually transmitted infections. Use a latex or female condom along with the pill to reduce the risk of infection.

* Typical use refers to failure rates for use that is not consistent or always correct.

** Perfect use refers to failure rates for use that is consistent and always correct.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 6:47am
"As for the pregnancy issue, pulling out does not assist in avoiding pregnancy, so why bother?"

Withdrawal is 81-96% effective. Although not foolproof against pregnancy, it obviously is more effective than ejaculating inside.

What if a woman is on the pill, but is PARANOID about becoming pregnant because she was still living at home and could not afford, nor do her plans include a twenty-year commitment? She has to worry that a man's going to feel bad if she doesn't allow him to ejaculate inside of her? Should she not engage in sexual activity at all just because he refuses to wear a condom or withdraw? Is his ego that fragile?




Edited 11/2/2004 7:50 am ET ET by i_motherofthre

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 6:54am

Yes, there is always a chance of pregnancy.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 6:59am

< new rules>>


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 7:10am
"If someone is going to be so paranoid & scared over getting pregnant every time they have sex, then they might not be ready to have sex. Being scared and paranoid can affect your sex life tremendously and ruin it for you and your partner."

What is wrong with taking extra precautions? If a man chooses to withdraw even if a woman is on the pill, does that mean that neither of them can enjoy sex or they're not ready for sex?

"If I was having an orgasm and he pulled out, I'd be very ticked off and I know he wouldn't appreciate me telling him to pull out during his moment either."

Why would you be ticked off, if it was his choice? Some men have full awareness of their impending ejaculation as do men who choose to stop it purposely to allow it to build several times. It's not a worry, because they're in control. Besides, there are ways to continue your orgasm.

I think that it's expected that a man will ejaculate during intercourse uniterrupted, but it's not something that can't be discussed and worked out.







Edited 11/2/2004 8:43 am ET ET by i_motherofthre

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 7:27am
For crying out loud, bring on the lawyers! Maybe there can be a new specialty called Sex Law. We should all be issued a series of forms that need to be signed, giving permission to touch her breasts, then her genitals, then his penis. Maybe get it notarized before engagng in oral sex.

I have had intercourse to completion with ten different women over the years. I always assumed, and I think fairly, that if she let me enter her without a condom, permission to ejaculate was assumed. If I knew she (or I) didn't want internal ejaculation, then I didn't penetrate at all. Understand the rules and expectations before penetration, not when in the throes of physical and/or emotional passion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 7:56am
Wow, ok this is the OP. I haven't read all the posts yet, but I can't believe the response. Here is my exact situation. Been dating a guy for a few months, and it is monogomous. We just started having sex a few weeks ago, and haven't used anything, nor have we discussed bc. Don't ask me why - but he hasn't asked. I don't know if he just assumes or what? I was single for over a year so I haven't gotten back on any birth control yet, but will be at the end of the month. So I am very relieved that he does pull out, although I know it's not 100% effective. (We have both been STD checked, so that is not a concern).

I was just generally curious if most guys typically pulled out. My past relationships, I was on the pill, and I always let him cum inside, and I never had a problem with pregnancy. But I religiously took my bc.

-Mel
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 7:59am

<sex?>>


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 8:24am
<>

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 8:29am
I hadn't realized that simultaneous orgasm is so prevalent. In fact, from what I can tell, my DH and I have had the closest to this than anyone I know. Also from reading this and other boards, simultaenous orgasms are rare. Usually if one of us does orgasm, it's as a reaction to the other, very rarely at the same time. I won't lie to you, there have been times when he's been inside and he had to withdraw to ejaculate. However, i'd continue clitoral stimulation, and that along with the visual of him ejaculating was so exciting that I'd orgasm almost immediately. Other than MY inconvenience, he's never felt interrupted. At least he's never NOT orgasmed or had to start over or put it back in. It's literally a two second maneuver. Remember, before the pill, many couples practiced withdrawal, and they were ready to have sex.

"I feel if someone is that paranoid and scared of pregnancy every time they have sex, then IMO they are not ready for a sexual relationship. There is a risk involved with almost everything you do, but if you're going to be paranoid about something all the time, then don't do it. Every time I get in my car, there is the risk that I will get killed in a wreck. If I worried about it and was paranoid every time I went driving somewhere, my car would sit in the driveway"

You could be right. My DH was only 19 when he met his gf and she was on birth control. He was paranoid about how well she was taking her pills since she admitted that she forgot a few times. This was back in the 70's when bc pills were relatively new. He also had known of boys who HAD to get married because the woman got pregnant while being on the pill. His father made him paranoid about becoming a father. If you ask him though, he still wanted to have sex, and believed he was acting precautionary.


Edited 11/2/2004 9:34 am ET ET by inquisitive_lurker

Pages