do most guys do this????

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
do most guys do this????
63
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 7:55am
Question for guys or girls. Just curious....in a newer relationship, do most guys typically "pull out"? Is this an intimacy issue, or are they just strictly not taking chances with pregnancy? Does this ever change, like once you've become exclusive or long term, and the girl is on the birth control, etc.?

thanks!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 8:36am
>>>>>>>>What do you do if he does without 'asking permission'? Shove him away, jump out of bed and cry "EWWWW! I can't believe you CAME inside me!" Or act hurt and offended? Or decide he doesn't care.<<<<<<<

lolol

no but i wouldnt have to do that but thats besides the point. It's not that it's gross or anything it's that it's too risky. I'm not sure how you guys came to your conclusions about this kind of thing but as for me, I spoke to my doctor, she said "The pull out method ALONE isn't safe to preotect yourself from pregnancy BUT it will decrease that 1% while your on birth control but not using a condom." I don't make him pull out way before..just..as he's about to. We're both more comfotable that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 8:40am
...Thank you!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 9:05am

<>


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 9:24am
But they weren't too paranoid to enjoy sex. If they were, they would have abstained. Maybe after the fact they became paranoid because someone messed up, pulled out too late, came on the vulva, realized she was at the most fertile time. But for most ppl who did adhere to most of rules of withdrawal, didn't let it affect their enjoyment of the act.

"Taking precautions against pregnancy and being comfortable with sex, not worrying all the time and being prepared if something does happen, to me, that is being ready."

Making THEMSELVES comfortable by using their own precautions, whether extra-precautionary or not is doing what THEY require to not worry--making them ready.

"It's happened with us at times, but *if* it were happening and he pulled out, I am one that when I am having an orgasm, whether it's through oral, manual or intercourse, once I'm at that peak, I need the same stimulation continued and if I did already orgasm before him, most times feeling him orgasm inside will give me another one."

I never said it didn't. I even admitted that it did. But usually if I'm engaged in intercourse close to an orgasm, it's because of the clitoral stimuli, which doesn't get disrupted. Even if I was in the midst of an orgasm through vaginal stimuli alone and he had to pull out, I'd accept it as part of our chosen method of bc.

"Even though pulling out is just a few second maneuver, and it doesn't stop his orgasm, we still feel it takes something away from us."

Not so for everyone.

"Everyone is different so to each his own, but for us, we want it all and enjoy being *together* till there's nothing left"

We don't feel cheated, and feel that we have it all...and we often do it until there's nothing left.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 9:39am
I don't think "most guys" do anything. I'm sure many guys are careful to use a condom in a new relationship since they don't know the sexual history of their partner. STD's have to be a concern, so there would be no need to pull out with one on.


I really doubt that most guys pull out by choice though since it disrupts their pleasure but it's possible that it's become habit. But as a means of birth control.... it's completely ineffective since he's already dropped pre-ejaculate in the vagina which contains sperm.

I would hope that most couples would discuss the subject long before it happened though.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 1:36pm
That is the entire point to this debate which some have not come to the realization of:

We're all speculating. We don't know "most guys" we know the guys that we've been with and that's a small fraction of "most".(I'm speaking from the female side; Obviously boys you know what you prefer.) When you're married or whatever and you know that if you got pregnant it wouldn't be a problem then by all means, I agree, cum away. However, in a relationship, it is respectable to just ASK to be sure. But I've said this before and I'll say it again...just because a woman condones the act of sex, it doesn't mean she's condoning that he let off inside of her. It is not the same thing and SOME women for WHATEVER reasons, do not feel comfortable.

So I say, to each their own, cheers,live and let live etc etc.

Geese...now lets see if we can get another topic like this going..47 posts..that's pretty nuts!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 1:52pm
<>

Even knowing the other's sexual history and seeing the results of last weeks STD blood test, there's always risk/trust involved as what did he/she did yesterday, after the tests.

If pre-ejaculate is so great at insemination, I wonder why Mother Nature invented the ejaculation? The vagina is quite acidic to keep bacteria and such controlled, and kills sperm on contact. Maybe parking the head in back with pre-cum would help the wigglers? The purpose of ejaculating is to force as many wigglers to the back with as much alkaline fluid to protect the wigglers within the vagina until they make it through the cervix to safety.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 2:20pm
Hi OP

I haven't finished reading all the posts that appeared over night for me, but I'll reply to your post. Forgive me if it's premature (so to speak!):

You asked:

>>I was just generally curious if most guys typically pulled out.<<

No. To the best of my knowledge, no man would pull out if the woman is on the Pill*.

If she is not on the Pill then I think that most men would want to use condoms and would prefer to not have intercourse unless some sort of BC was used.

If she is not on the Pill and a man has made the concious decision to have unprotected intercourse then I think that he would more than likely pull out before ejeculating.

--

In your situation, I suspect that your new partner is might be assuming that you are using some form of BC. I actually think that he is gambling with the withdrawal method being effective and has closed his eyes to the possibilty that he could get your pregnant - or he is being very naieve and is very ill-informed about how bad the withdrawal method is as a form of contraception.

You do realise that if he doesn't care enough to ask about contraception he probably won't stay around to help you if you DO get pregnant? There could be an argument about how unresponsible YOU were about BC and then he would disappear denying all knowledge and responsibility.... I've seen it happen.


*In this context the Pill just refers to any method of contraception that is not a condom.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 2:21pm
I didn't say that "pre-ejaculate is so great at insemination." I said the possibly of conceiving that way exists.

And I'm sorry, but sperm can live quite happily in the vagina for up to 72 hrs. so a "highly acidic vagina that kills sperm on contact" just isn't the case. There are cases of women ovulating, with semen present in the vagina days later and becoming pregnant with no further acts of intercourse. Wouldn't be possible if the vagina was so acidic.

And you're forgetting about those VERY fertile women who seem to get pregnant after a particularly erotic glance alone! LOL! So, because it IS possible to get pregnant without penetration, from pre-ejaculate, why take the chance that your "little wigglers" won't be able to survive? Russian roulette, anyone?


Edited 11/2/2004 3:24 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 2:48pm
My sister actually practiced the withdrawal method for a few months after her second child - she is an intelligent person that was careful about it. Now that she has had her third child she admits that she must have been addled in the brain post-pregnancy to somehow believe that it was an effective method.

Yes, withdrawal is reduces the risk of getting pregnant compared to letting a guy ejeculate in you. It cannot be even remotely be considered an 'effective' form of contraception though.

The debate about statistics and being careful and accurate with withdrawal is silly. The risk of pregnancy using this method is quite high. Conversely the risk of pregnancy with the Pill when taken correctly is very low.

There comes a point where you have to decide what you are going to do. Any sexual contact carries a risk of pregnancy. Do you just avoid intercourse completely? Do you take the Pill, minimise the risk, and enjoy the sex; or do you practice unsafe methods and not really enjoy the sex?

Just aside for a moment: I know that there are always stories about the Pill failing. I believe that most of these failures are due to user error. Forgetting to take the pill, taking it too late in the day, or being ill or from antibiotic use, or people's bodies not reacting well with the Pill (some bodies just don't behave as they should when on the Pill but that can usually be detected by you and your Doctor easily).

If you use the Pill 100% correctly and you scrupulously avoid sex as and when required by the directions, then it is virtually 100% effective.

Safe sex should be about enjoying your partner and the sex with your partner. If you are so worried about pregnancy then you should discuss Plan B and be comfortable with Plan B before having sex that you can enjoy.

Pages