To do or not to do?!?!
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To do or not to do?!?!
| Tue, 06-29-2004 - 8:45pm |
Ok - I don't even know how to broach this subject....but I'll give it a try.
The other night in the middle of some pretty good sex, my man asks me if I would let him in here - as he touched my A**. I was stunned! I didn't know what to say to him. First, I didn't know he was into that and second, I was raised in a pretty uptight household so my first reaction to the question was "NO WAY". So I answered him with "not now baby!" But it got me thinking!!!!! I guess my question here is...is this something that others do? Or is it taboo and wrong? I am not a prude and I am pretty experimental but I was kinda shocked!! I enjoy our sexual adventures, If I try this am I a pervert!?! Will he think less of me?!?! I need some others input here (pardon the pun!)
The other night in the middle of some pretty good sex, my man asks me if I would let him in here - as he touched my A**. I was stunned! I didn't know what to say to him. First, I didn't know he was into that and second, I was raised in a pretty uptight household so my first reaction to the question was "NO WAY". So I answered him with "not now baby!" But it got me thinking!!!!! I guess my question here is...is this something that others do? Or is it taboo and wrong? I am not a prude and I am pretty experimental but I was kinda shocked!! I enjoy our sexual adventures, If I try this am I a pervert!?! Will he think less of me?!?! I need some others input here (pardon the pun!)

The trick is for him to be slow, ideally lubricated, and for you to relax the muscles. If you are not relaxed it will be painful which will block the real pleasure you can have. But it is important, even if you are not normally using a condom, to put one on if you are planning to have anal sex. It is just advisable by those in the medical/sexual health community.
But it can be amazing if you are relaxed and willing!
Don't let your background or upbringing limit the experimentation.
And yes, some others do anal and others don't. My DH and I aren't into it but many people are. Don't feel that you MUST do it just because your partner wants to though. He won't suffer for your refusal.
Edited 6/29/2004 11:57 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
Some men like anal probing, too....with a finger or a dildo.....maybe that's something that your partner would like to try too...(start with him....he might decide he doesn't like it, lol)
Personally, I've tried it and it was "okay".....but it's not something I'd do often. If you decide to try, read up on it first, and find out HOW to do it. One thing to be very careful of is to NOT move from anal to vaginal without washing everything carefully, or you could wind up with a nasty infection. The bacteria from the rectum doesn't belong in the vagina! As someone else mentioned, condoms are good.
Bottom line, if you don't like the idea, then say no, and let that be the end of it.
>>Bottom line,<<
No pun intended???
Um, one other thing that has been mentioned briefly is the importance of being relaxed, going slowly and using a lubricant. You've got to trust your partner to stop if you ask him to, and to be able to go very slowly. It's a strange feeling initially and it's important to be able to 'ease' into it so to speak. Doggie style is often useful because you can control the rate of penetration yourself to a degree if he remains more or less motionless.
BUT I have totally gone at my own pace and did not do it for someone else to get off on.
It is a two way street for sure. Myself I prefer to use vibrators in my ass while I have sex. I am not wild about a guy putting his penis in there all the time - for that I need to be really turned on.
I think that is the trick - the more relaxed and turned on the more anal sex is great. If you are just doing it for the sake of someone else's pleasure you may as well not, because is simply won't work.
You can find out more about anal sex from www.easyanalsex.com
Good Luck with your exploration!
This issue has recently come up with my SO and I. he was sort of tickling around the area with his fingers, and it felt really nice, so in fact I brought the subject up. He seemed really excited that I did (duh!). But having never done it before, I said I was nervous that it would hurt.
He said that so long as you're well lubed and in a position where you have all the control, like spoons (he recommended against doggy style for a first timer)...that it should be ok.
HOWEVER since we talked about it he said he's less into the whole idea, knowing that I'm a first timer- that if i didn't like it, he wouldn't want me to have any regrets or resentment...so know it's just sort of hanging out there and i don't know WHAT to do.
I feel weird bringing it back up because i too was brought up in sort of a conservative world and still don't know if i'll even like it! But now his sort of taking it off the table almost makes me want to do it more!! (how weird is that!)
You're not alone- this WHOLE topic confuses me. not knowing WHAT to do, how to bring it up, if i'll even LIKE it!?
You'll never know until you try it. If you try it and don't like it, that's okay. I don't think it will scar you for life or ruin your relationship with him. On the contrary. We all experiment and try different things. Doesn't mean we will like them, but you'll never know unless you try. Wait until you're really feeling in the mood for it.
plus i don't want him to feel uncomfortable either.
Anyway, our sex life is totally awesome outside of that! so i'll just let it be for a while!!
at least i'm still into it if the subject comes back up!