To Do or Not To Do
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| Thu, 06-21-2007 - 12:49am |
Ok, right now I have a huge crush on a guy and we have hung out a lot but its been strictly platonic. Well this post is actually not about him. There is another guy I know and we have gotten really flirty lately. He knows about my crush and in the past even gave me advice. He often compliments me and tells me how pretty I am, etc. Well we started emailing and its gotten really flirty. I am attracted to him but mainly its just physical. The first guy I mentioned, I want as a boyfried while this other one I see as mainly just someone to have fun with.
So I'm debating whether or not I should move things forward with guy #2, i.e. sex. One friend of mine told me to go for it, that a booty call with guy #2 would be harmless. Part of me wants to have sex with him and part of me is afraid I will regret it. I feel conflicted because I feel like if I want to have sex with guy #2 does this mean I don't have strong feelings for guy #1? Basically I feel fickle.
Another thing is I haven't had sex in a looooooooong time. And I miss it! I haven't really dated anyone in a long time either. So I'm craving a real relationship with guy #1 but at the same time I'm also craving some fun, no strings attached sex with guy #2.
I don't even know if guy #1 is even interested in me in that way so I wonder if some of my feelings about #2 are stemming from being frustrated with #1. So I don't know. Just feeling conflicted here...

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Sorry if you took my reply as being judgemental.....and I suppose it was in some way, not about the "morality" of what you want....but about the way you're looking at it. If you're that interested in #1, then take a mature approach and talk to him about it. He may have the same interest, but he's not aware that you feel the same. OR, he may have NO interest in you beyond friendship. And, if you talk to him, and tell him how you feel, then you'll know if you have any kind of chance with him, or you don't. What happens if he IS interested, and he finds out you've been messing around with #2? That won't go over very well, or if he's so shy, then he'll think he's lost the opportunity.
If it turns out he's interested in nothing more than friendship, then what you do with #2 is up to you. If you think he's a player (and that's what he sounds like) then you'll probably be hurt in the end when he moves on to someone else......which is what I meant by a "risk".
Also, how can a guy explicitly asking for sex boost your "ego"? If a guy expresses interest, and wants to date you...and that leads to sex......possibly.....but someone who just says he wants sex with you? He probably says that to any female that seems receptive......and that doesn't seem like an "ego" booster to me! The fact that you haven't had sex in a while should have nothing to do with your ego.....boredom, loneliness, yes.....but ego? NO.
Sorry ... I thought you were a bit hard on the girl is all. If you re-read your post you may agree. It would have been better simply to delete it or apologize in my opinion. From your stance it didn't sound like you were very tolerant. If you are, you may want to consider being kinder to those asking advice.
I really don't want to argue with you just so you know. But understand that a board of this nature, BY ITS very NATURE, needs to be tolerant of other people's lifestyles.
No offense intended. That is JMHO!!
Edited 6/21/2007 12:41 pm ET by tami-kins
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