Do threesomes ruin relations?
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| Tue, 02-14-2006 - 2:15pm |
My man has a fantasy to have a threesome,me him and
another woman....while I love him and want to give him
what he wants,I wonder.....
Will it be okay if there is no actual penetration
between him and this other woman....or in the heat of
the moment will i not care if penetration takes place
If its more him watching me with the other woman with
little or no contact between them, or at most she and
i performing fellatio on him....will I be able to
handle that?
He says that he wants me to also have pleasure out of it so if he is sucking on my breasts which I love and the woman going down on me. He says he has always heard that women can pleasure other women better than a man can by going down.
He personally does not care about the penetration but is more intrigued by having two women performing fellatio on him. He has never had that experience, or he says even to have the other woman sucking his balls as i am riding him. I just dont know. I wonder If I would like a woman going down on me and having my mans penis in my mouth or him sucking my nipples or to even have her sucking on my nipples whilst he is inside me.
Have you ever been in a threesome? If no, would you
ever,if yes, were their any rules, do you have any
regrets?

You can check out the Taboos board, many people there have alternative lifestyles and are very open about discussing the pros and cons.
Dear Artful,
There are some who have good experiences with threesomes, but most do not; and usually those that don't REALLY don't. I would recommend doing a search on the ivillage websites for 3somes... you'll find some real horror stories.
You may be one of the couples that can do this and just have a wonderful time. However, before embarking on a threesome, ask yourself if sex is worth the end of your relationship. It's a risk that doesn't come up with other sexual experimentation...at least the ones that don't involve a third party. For example, if you try anal sex or B and D or S and M and find that you don't like it...that's that, you don't like it and you don't have to do it again. However, if you do a threesome and it turns out badly (jealousy, hurt feelings etc.) it's hard to get the thoughts out of your mind. Feelings of betrayal or guilt are tough nuts to crack when it comes to the human mind. One of the interesting things that you will find if you do a search on ivillage is that often times the partner that wants to do the threesome the most turns out to be the one that has a problem with it.
In my opinion some things are best left in the fantasy realm. Fantasies are safe...they turn out exactly the way you want them, when you bring another party into your sex life there are, in the form of another person, a whole new set of feelings and emotions, not to mention your own.
Think through what you do carefully before you make a decision. Whatever you do, good luck and much love to both of you.
Scott.
You've gotten a couple of very good answers so far and I haven't got a lot more to add to what has already been said.
Yes, threesomes can be fun and can be a good experience. But you have to want it for yourself and you have to have a good relationship that can handle and deal with any jealousy and unexpected emotions that may occur. In your case it sounds like you are doing it for your husband more than for yourself and that's a warning flag to me. You also talk about him not wanting penetration - well, he might truely believe that himself but what happens in the heat of the moment if he finds the other woman's willing, wet vagina inches from his penis? Do you really think that he's NOT going to want intercourse? I had a threesome once with a girlfriend and her best friend at my g/f's request. Everything went fine until I ejeculated inside the best friend. My g/f promptly burst into tears and cried "You didn't have to cum in her!"
Think about it carefully - there is no rush. And Yes, make some rules and guidelines if you do decide to go ahead with it.
My 2 cents worth? When in doubt, don't. That's it.
If you aren't equally intrigued with the idea, then it shouldn't happen. We should NEVER invite another person into our bed without being in total agreement about it. Because once it's done, you can't take it back.
Hi Everyone thanks for your responses. Firstly let me say that my man is not even aware that I am entertaining any thoughts of engaging in a three-some with him. It is something he and I have talked about in so much as he has mentioned that he has had three-somes in the past and he enjoyed it alot. I got to thinking....hmmmmm.....is this something that I can do for him? So I wanted some ideas, feedback, thoughts etc on the matter. I must say that I have read all the postings and the messages are basically the same. In all honesty, since having another woman in bed with my man is not one of my fantasies and my man is quite content with it being just us, I will keep it that way. Any thoughts I may have had of entertaining the idea of a threesome is now firmly put to rest and I will spend my time now thinking of ways to spice up my sex life that involves no one else but us.
Thank you all!