Do women actually want sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2007
Do women actually want sex?
38
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 9:41pm

I keep hearing everywhere that women are supposedly more sexual men, but to be honest, I can't help but think it's a lot of hooey. If women enjoyed sex as much as men, then why do so many women still use terms liked "giving it up" and "making him work for it"?

Either way, I can't help but feel like such attitudes about sex are extremely condescending and self absorbed. Is sex with you so great, or sex with us so miserable, that you consider it a gift or a favor you give to us? Are we so unworthy of your affection and desire that we have to work to prove ourselves worthy of it?

Why can't I "give it up" for a change instead of waiting to receive? Why can't she work for it for my sexual favor?




Edited 1/7/2008 9:42 pm ET by megadose
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Registered: 03-09-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 2:50pm
I would bet to say not well given the title of this thread!

sensual Pictures, Images and Photos

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 2:50pm

I think that in my years I have learned that men are just different than women when it comes to sex. Let me explain.
Men, most men, want sex whenever they can get it, especially when we are younger. 15 years ago I would take anything I could get. I was not alone and almost every other guy I knew was the same way. I felt the same way Megadose does and wondered why it was not "given up". I had a saying when I was younger (I still joke about it today but I was serious then) - "if I was a woman I would sell it and it would be rich and sore". I know some married men today who still have a very active sex life at home but if given the chance "outside the home" they would jump at it because the sex is different. For this reason I keep changing and mixing up my sex at home. The men who don't I think sometimes suffer, sometimes it is due to medical issues/medication I know. Men are just not as selective and "it" is about the "sex" with us most of the time.

For women, not all women, it about the connection. I know - I'm not a woman how would I know. I don't but I just telling it like I see it. Most women want to know the other person, what kind of person they are. There is nothing wrong with this. Of course some women are just like most of us men and want sex all the time and do not want or need the "connection". I have the personal fortune of entertaining several of these ladies and it was a good time for all. No one was used (not even me)and it was all mutual.

With this said, I married the girl that wanted the connection and the personal connection. My DW calls the "other girls" the "friday night girls" and she was the "take home to mom girl". She is still not sure to this day if it is a good thing or not she is the "take home to mom girl".

I might be all wet on this but please let me know if I am. I would hate to continue life under the wrong impression of this very important fact of life.

Fred

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 2:55pm

Got all wrapped up in that last one and didn't answer the question - yes I think women want sex - it depends on the woman, just like the man.

Fred

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Registered: 09-12-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 6:49pm

*wow*


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 8:33pm

Personally, I think it's nurture over nature.

Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 8:52pm

"I'm not asking you to give me anything. I'm giving it up for you. I'm doing you the favor."


I can't decide if you are purposefully using phrases like this for their reactive value or if you do really have these thoughts in your head.


No one, not a man nor a

Mrs P

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Registered: 02-26-2001
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 9:01pm

"****Hey Rice if you're reading, come on over, this is your kind of thread.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 10:25pm

>I can't decide if you are purposefully using phrases like this for their reactive value or if you do really have these thoughts in your head.<

No, I don't feel like this. That is just a snide remark I'd say to someone who felt they had to "make me work for it" for them to "give it up."

I too feel like you, that sex shouldn't be considered a "favor" or a "gift" where one part is giving and one part is receiving. Sex is something 2 people should do for their own and each other's joy and pleasure.

But I'm starting to side with fred. It's not really sex you want, you want to feel that deep, close emotional connection. Meanwhile, we really, really basically just want to put it in a hole and get off.

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Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 2:07am

You're not all wet Fred, you understand women.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 6:08am

It's not really sex you want, you want to feel that deep, close emotional connection. Meanwhile, we really, really basically just want to put it in a hole and get off.


The two do not need to be mutually exclusive.

Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )