Do you HAVE to shower before sex??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2005
Do you HAVE to shower before sex??
24
Thu, 07-21-2005 - 5:10pm
i have this thing that i HaVE to shower before sex, otherwise i feel smelly and gross. i guess what started this was hearing guys talk about girls being nasty. because i have to bathe, i really cant have spontanous sex with my husband. does anyone else do this or do you have any suggestions for me?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 3:30am

Sex is about getting messy, sweaty as well as love and romance. If at all I made that call, it would be to say, "darling hope you haven't bathed today, stay smelly and sweaty for me, I am coming over".

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 6:58am

Same with us. Have you ever smelled your DH's skin? I don't mean the just showered, all-you-smell-soap smell, nice as that is. I mean his own scent. That's pretty nice too. I think many people probably never have the opportunity to do. (Not your DH in particular, just their own partner's scent, lol). And that is unique to each person.

Sometimes it works out that I've showered before sex, simply because I showered sometime between dinner and bedtime. But I don't usually shower ever day (I can imagine the 'ewww' faces reading this.) I can't, no matter what I use I just get too dry and itchy. And I've never shampooed my hair every day. The few times I used to, it would get so dry. You would never look at my hair and see it looking dirty. I just do what we call 'birdbaths' every other night, unless I've been in a chlorinated pool, beach, or been outside on a very hot muggy day.

But shower just because of sex? Nah. Dh likes it anyway he can get it! Besides....we just get all sticky and sweaty again, lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2005
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 9:55am

You do not necessarily have to shower before sex (intercourse and / or oral). I do not live with my boyfriend so I have an opportunity to shower before I see him and it can be spontaneous but if we go out for a night of partying and come home and decide to have sex I always go to the bathroom first (A) to help prevent UTI's and (B) to do a quick clean up. I take a wash cloth with just a little bit of soap and clean up down there then I rinse the wash cloth and without soap on it clean up again (to get ride of the soap taste and smell). This seems to work perfect. I feel fresh and clean and it only takes as little as 2 min. You might try this.

anna

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 11:05am
Yes, it's more intimate showering AFTER sex. It's such a loving gesture to wash one another off after having a great lovemaking session together.


Edited 7/22/2005 11:05 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 12:12pm

DW and I have different views on this. We live in Florida and walk for exercise usually twice a day so we shower at least once and usually twice a day. She generally likes to make love just after a shower and likes me the same way. I like her when she smells more natural , like when she comes home after work (she showers before work in the AM), or especially first thing in the morning when she showered just before bedtime. I might say that she has NEVER had more than a slight unpleasant odor in her armpits and genital area and that doesn't bother me, even for oral. She is more sensitive, though, and while I don't necessarily have to shower before IC, if I want any kind of oral , I know I need to shower.

taoist

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2005
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 5:49pm
I agree b/c I had spontanious sex once and I was worried about everything I really could't enjoy myself b/c I was thinking about too much. so for now on I make sure I shower before I have sex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 7:43pm

>>Same with us. Have you ever smelled your DH's skin? I don't mean the just showered, all-you-smell-soap smell, nice as that is. I mean his own scent. That's pretty nice too. I think many people probably never have the opportunity to do. (Not your DH in particular, just their own partner's scent, lol). And that is unique to each person.<<

YES! YES! YES! I just love the scent of his skin - so much so that I find it to be an aphrodisiac. Just bathed skin is nice, but the pheromones on his body accumulated over a day in the office are just mindblowing. I've sometimes got a habit of coming up to him at the end of a day and just drinking in his scent. He probably thinks I'm a bit weird, sniffing his body, but he lets me do it anyway ;-)

To be honest, I find that his body, when drenched in pheromones, is much sexier than a bathed body. And thankfully, he's not one of these blokes who is prone to getting stinky genitals. Even when unshowered, they smell as nice as the rest of him.

Along with the thought of enjoying the scent of an unwashed husband, do you ever enjoy the smell of his discarded clothes?

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 8:00pm

Only suggestion I have is "get over it" (in a nice way :)

Showering before sex is great.
Showering after sex is great.
Showering during sex is fun, too. :)
Sex without the shower is a blast, too.

The only thing I prefer to have showering before is anal licking. On the other hand, my GF has the courage to ask for it, so if she just got out of the shower when I see her, she'll often remind me that she just "washed up" (down?), and stick her bottom out for some attention. I love that (the fact that she asks for it more than the act itself), so I don't discourage shower before sex, but if that was all I got, I'd be dissapointed.

Somewhere along the line, we decided that natural smells are bad. That's sad.

Working off a script is no fun at all (unless that's part of the fun!).

Maybe having him shower with you might be a starting point in getting over it -- get undressed together, embrace naked, let your fingers wander to each other's "dirty spots", jump in the shower together, wash each other up...and have fun. Next time, maybe a little more before-hand fun...

...yikes. too bad the GF is busy this evening....

(yes, I seem to have a weakness for shower-related sex. It is nothing about being clean...just fun)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 07-24-2005 - 9:01am

The varieties in human being's senses never ceases to amaze me. Having been prone to yeast infections for years, I gave up using soap on my genitals years ago....a good rinse is all I do. Soap corrupts one's Ph balance. (Though I have always been meticulous about cleaning my bottom).

Anyway, point is, I've never had a complaint or a man turn up his nose at me. So, it just goes to show that what bothers one person won't necessarily bother another.

(Still thinking about that thread on stubble and people's different reactions to feeling stubble)

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Sun, 07-24-2005 - 8:12pm

Yes. I like the way his pillow smells when he's off to work and I'm home still in bed. And I like to sniff a shirt that's he's worn. (Not into sniffing socks or underwear though, lmao). But I know exactly what you mean. It doesn't smell like soap or shampoo or deodorant or aftershave, just him. In fact, you brought back a memory that I hadn't thought of for awhile, when we were dating. I'd been to his place and got chilly and he gave me his long sleeved olive Army shirt (fatigues) to throw on over my Tshirt. I wore it home and ended up keeping it for quite awhile. Probably until we got married, lol. It smelled like him and I liked it so much, just for that reason.

Smells are a funny thing. There's a smell of a certain plastic that I always associate with Christmas and being a little girl. It smells the way a new shower curtain does. Very, very vinyl plastic-y. Being out in the yard early in the am when everything is still damp reminds me of Maine. And although one of the docs wears aftershave every day (some are great and some are just AWFUL), there is a older patient that has to come in often and he always just has the scent on him of freshly ironed cotton. Know what smell I mean? I don't think it's a scent he uses, it's just him and his clean, newly ironed cotton shirt, but I can smell it when he's on the other side of the counter and I just like it SO much.