DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE THIS PROBLEM
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DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE THIS PROBLEM
| Mon, 06-20-2005 - 11:16pm |
MY BOYFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 3 YEARS NOW AND HAVE 3 KIDS.WE'VE BEEN THRU ALOT BUT THIS BOTHERS ME.EVERY TIME WE HAVE SEX HE PUTS A PORNO ON.I'M INTO WATCHING THEM WITH HIM BUT WHILE WE'RE HAVING SEX I CANT SEE THE TV BECAUSE OF THE WAY MY BED IS.HE SAYS HE LIKES TO WATCH THEM BECAUSE IT MAKES HIM GET OFF QUICKER BECAUSE I USUALLY GET OFF PRETTY QUICK AND AFTER I DO I GET BORED AND SO THATS WHY HE SAYS HE WATCHES THEM.I'VE TRIED TO TALK TO HIM BUT HE SAYS THAT ITS A MAN THING.I WILL ADMIT THAT ONCE I GET OFF I DO WANT HIM TO GET GOING BUT THEN I THINK THAT HES GETTING OFF TO OTHER WOMEN(EVEN IF THEY ARE ON TV).AND THATS WHAT BOTHERS ME.
I DONT UNDERSTAND MEN, LIKE HOW MY BOYFRIEND ALWAYS JERKS OFF, LIKE THE MINUTE I WALK OUT THE DOOR TO DO ANYTHING.THAT PISSES ME OFF BECAUSE THEN HE DONT WANT TO HAVE SEX.HE SAYS ITS SO MUCH EFFORT AND WORK TO HAVE SEX LIKE JERKING OFF ISN'T?
WE USED TO HAVE SUCH A GOOD SEX LIFE BUT NOW WITH 3 KIDS AND HIM WORKING ALL THE TIME WE HARDLY HAVE TIME TO.
DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE THIS PROBLEM
I DONT UNDERSTAND MEN, LIKE HOW MY BOYFRIEND ALWAYS JERKS OFF, LIKE THE MINUTE I WALK OUT THE DOOR TO DO ANYTHING.THAT PISSES ME OFF BECAUSE THEN HE DONT WANT TO HAVE SEX.HE SAYS ITS SO MUCH EFFORT AND WORK TO HAVE SEX LIKE JERKING OFF ISN'T?
WE USED TO HAVE SUCH A GOOD SEX LIFE BUT NOW WITH 3 KIDS AND HIM WORKING ALL THE TIME WE HARDLY HAVE TIME TO.
DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE THIS PROBLEM

Hi keboo711:
1-You should have a good TALK with your guy; tell him exaxtly what you wrote here.
2-Typing in CAPITAL LETTERS is like yelling on the Internet.
Mac
Watching porn during sex is not a *guy thing*.
No, it's not a "guy thing" because my guy doesn't use porn at all. This is YOUR guy's thing but I don't blame you for being bothered by it.
You need to discuss it with him and let him know exactly how it makes you feel. However, it sounds as if you encouraged this as a means of "getting him off" faster, so now he may be used to the extra visual stimulation and it may take him even longer to finish....for awhile.
"I WILL ADMIT THAT ONCE I GET OFF I DO WANT HIM TO GET GOING"
I think this statement is more of an issue than the porn thing is. Trust me, it's the worst thing in the world to be have intercourse with someone that is bored and just wants it to be over with. It's a huge ego killer.
You need to show him that you won't get bored once you have your orgasm. Make the entire intercourse session exciting for both of you. Then you can talk to him about the porn issue. Chances are, if you make it exciting, he won't need the porn. But until you resolve your issue, it's unfair for you to want him to resolve his issue.
I would have to agree, any ego is easily decreased and more so during sex, we allow our vunrability to increase. Perhaps you could pause for a while to prevent yourself from getting off thus getting bored of continuing the intercourse. You could aslo try working on haveing more orgasms in one night then his ego will increase and the both of you will start to enjoy sex. Trying several positions in one night increses extra stimulation.
If you also want him to stop watching porn try a position for a while during sex which means the tv is behind him though still on, bive him something else to focus on. You can always move round again later so he can watch the porn if he still wants to.
Most importantly talk to each other about your feelings. It could be that he is jerking off because he is scared that his ego will be too badly damaged if he can not perform. Before focusing on what you want out of making love ask him what he wants. It will not change overnight and will take a while but it will be worth it in the end.
I wish you luck