Does anyone else have problems orgasming

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2008
Does anyone else have problems orgasming
8
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 3:09am

I have a hard time orgasming when my boyfriend goes down on me. It feels great and everything but its not orgasmic. Does anyone else have this problem? Should I be more focused or realxed? Any tips?


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 8:07am

You should definitely be more relaxed, just enjoy the feelings. You may be a lady that doesn't O from oral sex, not everyone does, as a matter of fact, I don't. Your post doesn't say, do you O from other things, like his fingers, or g-spot stimulation? If its just oral sex you're not Oing from, then don't worry about it and just enjoy it. If you can't seem to O at all, you might want to experiment to see what can make you O, either with masturbation or

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 9:12am

Welcome to the board, Zanna.

You probably need to relax more. If you're thinking about an O or what he's doing, then you will probably have a difficult time. Try to slip into a fantasy, even use your own hands on your body if that helps.

Also, make sure you tell him what does/doesn't feel good. Perhaps he's not hitting the right spot, using the right intensity, etc. You can talk to him while he's performing, but make it part of your fantasy. Saying things like "right there", or giving a positive moan, or "oh baby, that feels good" can go a long way in encouraging both of you to reach your goal.





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2008
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 9:18am
focused helps but more importantly is learning when you can orgasm (what makes it work) and having him do that. Sometimes pressure is important and doesnt' work just with a tongue. You can help as well!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 9:26am
Welcome to the board, virginiagent .... thanks for joining in!




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2008
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 9:28am
My pleasure.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2008
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 1:18am

We have tried fingering and at first it was rough but then it got much better. (we arent having sex right now) I think you may be right that I'm just one of those girls who doesnt orgasm from oral. Should I tell him that? I just hope he wont take it as "never do it again" cause it feels amazing it just doesnt get me there. I like the idea of not fousing so much on worrying if I'll have an orgasm. I think I'll just relax and focus more on what he is doing.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 7:21am
What I'd suggest to keep him from thinking "never do it again" is talk to him at a time when your not being intimate, so your both thinking clearly, and explain that you love how it feels, but you don't O from it alone. Mention that you want to keep it up, but only as foreplay. HTH
siggy prewedding
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2002
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 3:09pm

I wouldn't be too discouraged. I never used to be able to

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