Does he think I'm a sex fiend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Does he think I'm a sex fiend?
4
Wed, 04-27-2005 - 7:18pm

I recently hooked up with a guy I've known casually for several months. Our relationship started with sex three weeks ago and has progressed nicely into exclusive dating, but we aren't introducing each other as boyfriend and girlfriend yet - at least I'm not. My friends mention my boyfriend and I'm quick to say, we're just seeing each other. He's a great date, perfect gentleman, a lot of fun, at ease as a "couple" in front of both our sets of friends - and I can see this possibly blossoming into a good relationship, even though in the past I have casually dated and always been skittish about being "in a couple." But for all my denying, that's essentially what we are.

Our sex life is quite regular - my two best friends have accused us of humping like rabbits. There's something about this guy that brings out a really wild side of me. He is European (Irish) and is very outgoing, uninhibited, and sexually charged, which really turns me on. He has casually remarked in bed about how horny I am and I'm afraid he may be seeing me as wildly permiscuous or some kind of sexual wildchild. I do enjoy sex very much but I'm doing new things - getting louder, talking dirty, encouraging crazy positions - all new for me but I don't want him to think I often engaged in wild, crazy casual sex before this relationship.

Can someone put me at ease about this relationship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Wed, 04-27-2005 - 11:53pm

Three weeks of sex is not a relationship......yet. You say you've "progressed" into exclusive dating. Progressed? Have you discussed that, or are you assuming?

What is is that you need to be put at ease about? What do you care about what you did or didn't do in your past relationships, and what should he care about it? We all mature and progress sexually (or at least we should) and how adventurous you are now has no bearing on how you were last years, or 5 years ago. I doubt very much if he's ever given your prior relationships a thought......he's enjoying this sexual relationship and isn't concerned about whatever came before him.

I think you'd better slow down with the analyzing, and just enjoy this for what it is....and if you want more....then you need to discuss it with him, and make sure he wants more also. Do not assume anything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
Thu, 04-28-2005 - 1:26am

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Why don't you feel @ ease if everything is consensual, you're having fun and you enjoy being with him?

Also why does it matter if he thinks you're a sex fiend? It's not like you're forcing him into something he doesn't want.

Sounds to me like you might be having issues with being a more powerful you! Word to the wise, in order to protect yourself from undo pain: Do not assume anything about the relationship - ask him his view so that you will always have a well-rounded perspective. Sex is great, but communcation is the key! Enjoy and relax!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
Thu, 04-28-2005 - 1:32pm
I had sex with bf the first night that I met him (not something I am real proud of). We went out that following Friday on a date. Had sex with him again. Anytime that we went out we had sex often several times a night. The relationship progressed. We never talked about being boyfriend/girlfriend or anything. My little brother called my cell phone one night while I was with my bf (about a month or so into the relationship) and when I asked my bf a question my little brother wanted to talk to him so I okay. My brother asks him ..."are you my sister's bf because she is not supposed to be dating(brother was overprotective) and my bf said "I guess so". Anyways...we have been together for over 13 months now and live together. I wouldn't worry about things so much.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Thu, 04-28-2005 - 2:12pm
I can relate to how you felt with this man. On the first night DH and I had sex I was crazed. I did things that I had never done before with any others. I thought for sure that I would never see him again. Well...that was 27 years ago. So think of it in the same way as I did: "If I never see him again....it's his loss. I am who I am and if that's not good enough or in this case too much ;-) for him to handle, then so be it!"
Be true to yourself.
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )