Does he want me?
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Does he want me?
| Thu, 02-10-2005 - 6:30pm |
Ok here is the thing, my b/f brother has been acting weird towards me eva since my b/f & I got together, before he just used to smile at me and I would catch him looking at me and he would quickly look away but now it has escalated, he is finding every opportunity to be in the room at the same time as me and when we are together he mfinds an excuse to rub against me, he has started jokingly hitting me and although he is a very, very good looking man he is married and I love his brother, but the worst thing is that he runs hot and cold, first he is all flirty with me and the next he doesn't even look at me or talk to me, on one occation he even walked out of the room!
Help me please?

Well, maybe you're misinterpreting what you're seeing, too. He may just be concerned about his brother and trying to get a "read" on your intentions. He may just be interested in seeing how you respond to your BF's BROTHER flirting with you! But unless you're attracted to him, too, then whether he's "hot and cold" shouldn't mean anything to you.
He's a married man and you're with his brother, so what and how he thinks of you is irrelevant. It's your BF that should be your concern.
People play flirty games all the time with no real intent at all. Just ignore him and remember, blood is thicker than water and brother's DO talk.
Edited 2/10/2005 6:51 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
Short and sweet, I just think its a bad idea being around him that much if you truly feel that he is focusing that much attention on you, seeing that he's married.
Try to find ways to avoid being around him without drawing attention to it, that way you keep the peace and avoid future problems more easily. Just my quick two cents.
C H A R A C T E R
Please help you do what? It sounds to me like you're enjoying the attention...you think he's good looking, you feel he's running hot and cold, you allow him to rub against you. If you didn't want the attention, you'd make sure to stay away from him.
If you enjoy the relationship you have with your b/f, I would say you should stay away from his brother, and the next time he touches you, tell HIM to stay away from you. If that doesn't stop him, then tell your b/f what he's doing.
Edited 2/11/2005 11:29 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
>>he thinks that it is funny when his brother comes on to me<<
OK, although slightly unusual that's fine. But does he know how strongly his brother comes on to you? Is aware that it is considerably more than just a bit of "harmless" flirting?
>>he says that he trusts me to do the right thing<<
Have you told him that you ARE doing the right thing but that his brother is definitely not doing the right thing? Have you told him that you feel very uncomfortable and really don't like what his brother is doing?
>>I don't want to cause upset to ANYONE<<
You don't have to upset ANYONE. Next time that this brother rubs against you, just turn to him and clearly say with a smile "Look, I'm flattered that you feel that you need to keep rubbing against me, but I really don't like and frankly it makes me feel gross when you do it. Please stop it." Smile again, and walk away. See, nothing offensive about that. If the brother gets upset about that then he is totally out of line and it's not your fault that he is out-of-line. You're not responsible for his reactions to your polite request.
If that doesn't work, then start to get more assertive and blunt.
>>I really don't know if I would 'do the right thing' if his brother tried to seduce me<<
What do you mean? Do you mean that you might end up having sex with this brother if he tried to seduce you? That's exactly the opposite of what you've just told us. If you think that theres a chance that you might find this brother attractive and end up having sex with him then I suggest that you really think hard about what's going on here, and with you, and with what unconcious signals you might be giving the brother.