don't like giving oral sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
don't like giving oral sex
14
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 4:18pm
married to an awesome guy for 3 years. he loves giving and receiving oral sex. i really am not fond of it. i feel bad that i cant maximize his pleasure. i even sugessted maybe just getting a blow job from someone else, to satisfy his needs. any sugesstions??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 4:28pm

Suggesting him go somewhere else for oral is not the way to go about it in my opinion.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 4:42pm

Am I guessing right that you were about him getting a blow job from someone else? Was that remark because of him pressuring you or because of the pressure you put on yourself?

I'd chat with him about how you DO love him and adore his body, but that doesn't automatically mean that you're into the same things that he or even others out there may be interested in.

Not every partner enjoys every sex position, not every partner enjoys anal play, not every partner enjoys toys, not every partner enjoys oral. Make sure he understands that part foremost.

As far as what can do to become more interested, I first think you need to identify IF there is something in particular about it that you actually DON'T like, other than it being uninteresting to you. Many people out there report that they just don't like the work thats involved or even the embarrassment while receiving. Others have past issues that become problematic. Some just find it a bit gross for whatever reason. Pinpointing WHAT your particular issue may be, if there IS one of course, is a good first step.

Something ELSE that may help is to recognize WHY many of us others do enjoy it after all. Many times its just the satisfaction of being THE cause of what is often considered the most intense pleasure our partner could enjoy. Some just enjoy causing those reactions in those ways. Some just adore the partner's body that much and can't get enough of it. So if you study a tad bit on why people DO enjoy giving or even receiving, then that could help you too. Just an idea that helped some in the past.

 

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 6:03pm

Do you REALLY want your partner to turn to someone else for such an intimate and pleasurable act though? Have you really thought about what you're saying to him by suggesting this?

Why not make a commitment to LEARN to enjoy what it provides for him instead? That is, of course, unless you have been abused in this way in the past which could make that much more difficult.

You could also try limiting this act to once a week or month, etc. so that you don't feel so pressured when he desires it. There ARE ways to deal with differing needs though that don't require compromising your marriage. Rarely do we get everthing we might like, as often as we might like from our partner, simply because we're individuals with different preferences. And no one enjoys pressuring or being pressured.

But sometimes, just changing the way you view an act can greatly affect your attitude toward it.




Edited 2/23/2005 6:08 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 10:12pm

You do know that you don't have to swallow, don't you? I know this sounds like a dumb question, but we have had posters here who's distress at the thought of semen in their mouths put them off the whole deal.

In our case, I tend to give oral as part of foreplay (not every time) and finish the job with intercourse.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 12:13am

>>You do know that you don't have to swallow, don't you?<<

I was going to ask the same thing. A good BJ doesn't have to end with him ejeculating in your mouth. And you should be the one controlling it, don't stand for a guy forcing your mouth or head on to it. Provided you know that, a nice clean, freshly showered penis isn't too bad and is pretty simple to deal with. A bit funny looking, but nice and clean, and soft and smooth too.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 1:55am
"Soft?" No, that word should never be used to describe a penis, Westie! LOL!


Edited 2/24/2005 2:09 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 5:31am

Well a lovely lass I knew before I meet my love admited that it was a power thing for her to take a limp(soft) guy in her mouth and make him hard and that's what got her off doing it

Although to be honest I think any lass would have to be quick off the mark to catch me before I was up lol
cheers Jacobiteone

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 11:53am
In attempting to "sell" the wonders of a penis to a woman though, the word "soft" should never be used in the same sentence! LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 12:19pm

The only suggestion I have is to keep an open mind. When I was young, I felt differently than I do today. It didn't arouse me at all to give oral--whereas, now it's extremely arousing to the brink of my own orgasm. Our desires do change...

Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 7:51pm

>>"Soft?" <<

Whoops!

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