duration of intercourse

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
duration of intercourse
59
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 12:28am

I often read threads about men who orgasm too quickly during intercourse.

CL-Yasmin1967

May I have the serenity to accept what I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 11:10am
I don't put restrictions on my DH's body. He's always free to climax whenever he wishes. I wouldn't want someone running my orgasm, so I don't run his. He can average anywhere from 3 to 10 minutes of straight intercourse...and sometimes that's exactly what he wants or I want, and we go for it. However, sustaining arousal is something we both enjoy. He will often withdraw, and change off to sustain his orgasm, not because of ME, but because of his own desire to make it last. Even if I've already orgasmed through oral, manual, or intercourse, he'll take the longer route, and I often orgasm again. He can't last with continuous intercourse, but he can if he withdraws. That's his choice. I love sex in any way, shape, form, or duration. I like making love and quickies, and all the others. We make it up as we go along.




Edited 5/16/2004 11:14 am ET ET by free_to_choose

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 12:46pm
Intercourse now typically lasts, well, I suppose it must be 20-25 minutes plus, but I don't ever look at the clock (when we first started only a couple of minutes with constant apologies from DBF!) and it's not as if we rush things beforehand either! I don't think he feels that he has to last longer just for my benefit (that wouldn't be a problem) but we just really enjoy stretching things out for as long as possible and loving every moment in a very gentle and exaggerated way. Once or twice he has orgasmed very quickly, saying that he was just too 'overcome' at how much he loved me or some other sweet excuse, and, despite his being slightly embarrassed, I have to admit that it was quite an incredible thing to see and feel him so unbearably unable to control himself. But there's no way that he could ever have sex again within a few hours (he says he;s just far too 'overwhelmed'). I don't have any problems with this, as it takes me a long time to recover from the emotional power of it all anyway, but, I was just wondering from reading other posts, is this normal for a man of 22?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 5:23pm
Westridge, you write:

>>but I think that a quick orgasm is like being able to skip the dinner preparation and main course and move straight on to dessert. Orgasm is aim for most men. Who cares how long it takes to get there? The build up is nice but the orgasm is nicer. Forget the build-up and give me the orgasm is probably the opinion of a lot of men<<

This may be the opinion of a lot of men, but for me it doesn't lead to satisfying lovemaking. I find a nice, long build-up leading to orgasm ( sometimes to more than one) is much, much better than just getting there as quickly as posible. It also enables me to enjoy my DF's orgasms, as she has multiples while I'm getting there. Your dinner analogy is very apt in that I like dessert as much as anyone, but I have no desire to skip the maincourse, etc. and move straight on to dessert.

taoist.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 5:29pm
Honey, you write,

>> i wonder if partly he takes longer because he realizes i am very pleased by long intercourse sessions and he is actively wanting to please me and last...i had another lover before this one who also lasted a much longer time than my husband and again i got the feeling he was stalling his orgasm on purpose to let intercourse linger.. <<

You "wonder" and "got the feeling" your lovers were lasting to please you. Did you ever ask them? This seems to me to be something you could talk about. They probably are doing something and I think it would please them to know you were aware of and appreciated their efforts.

taoist

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 5:42pm
I'm really surprised by these responses:

yasmin: <>

tish: >>15-20 mins is too much <<

noteworthy: >>I've never had intercourse for more than 15 minutes>>

Why is longer intercourse undesirable?

My DF and I routinely have intercourse for about 15-25 minutes because that's how long it takes me to orgasm. We change positions several times because too long in one position gets uncomfortable, but as long as we do that she has orgasms in every position. I usually only orgasm with me on top, which we save for last, but I enjoy the other positions a lot, and they help me with orgasm when I eventually get on top. Sometimes we'll just start out with me on top and little foreplay. When we first got together it usually took her 10 minutes or more to orgasm and usually included oral and digital foreplay to orgasm, but now she orgasms in under five minutes even if we have little or no foreplay.

taoist

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 6:28pm
Thank you for posting this because it seems to go against the general consensus that I have seen on these boards that under 20 minutes is "too quick." We tend to spend 30-45 minutes on foreplay, but when it comes to intercourse, 5-10 minutes is average, and anything over 10 minutes is extremely uncomfortable for me due to the build up of friction.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 6:58pm

tish: >>15-20 mins is too much <<

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 8:46pm

>>Why is longer intercourse undesirable? <<


Three reasons:

CL-Yasmin1967

May I have the serenity to accept what I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 9:40pm
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I'm fianlly starting to know my body enough and not rush things after my orgasm. What I call temperamental, my wife calls, "bratty".

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Hmm, thanks for the verification. I've seen and heard here and elsewhere a lot of women complain about the leakage.

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My wife was looking into buying a monkey until we found a few horror stories about raising one. We're probably going to end our "collection" with one more turtle to accompany our present single turtle.

Seeing as we're on the subject... have any of you had the experience of being "cross-eyed" for about a day after a pretty strong orgasm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 9:58pm

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