duration of intercourse
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duration of intercourse
| Sat, 05-15-2004 - 12:28am |
I often read threads about men who orgasm too quickly during intercourse.
| Sat, 05-15-2004 - 12:28am |
I often read threads about men who orgasm too quickly during intercourse.
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Easy you...lol...and where's the smiley face?!! ;)
I was referring to the idea that men should be asking the WOMEN if us men being naturally less than "long enough" is good enough anymore, because its (if I'm not mistaken now) the WOMEN who have issue with us not lasting long enough.
Still, I was a little surprised that you had an issue with some men who try to better themselves in bed via learning methods to last longer. If men do something like that for the women, then I PERSONALLY do not see that as any different than men 'learning' to perform cunnilingus better, or 'learning' to thrust or grind according to what makes the woman feel good (as opposed to what makes US feel good). I was just surprised to hear that ANY woman had an issue with ANY man that was "man enough" to self'less'ly "learn" more and more to please his woman...natural or not. LOL!!!
Now I'm not saying, "Wow, even when we men try to learn to be more pleasing for women, just by doing THAT we STILL have some who take issue!"...LOL! Thats NOT what I'm saying, but something tells me there ARE men out there who just may think that. Anyway, what "I" am saying is that it sounds like I misunderstood your question or your issue with us men learning to be more pleasing than just wham bam thank you natural man. Remember, I did say that I was still and always will be learning...no shame.
Anyway, my wife doesn't demand and doesn't expect me to perfect anything, but IMHO she DOES have the right to expect/demand that I put forth some effort toward being better for her. My wife had a choice to be with someone that was either going to say take it or leave it OR she could choose to be with someone like me who enjoys trying to be better for her.
THAT is where MY issue starts. I REALLY have an issue with anyone who treats learning to be better for the spouse as some type of "chore" or "job" or "hassle" or anything less than a pleasure to learn to be better for the spouse. If I can't do it, then I can't do it. If it is within my power to super please my wife by simply learning better methods or techniques for her benefit, then THAT is part of the reason I married her. I didn't marry her to please 'myself' but I married her because I love her THAT MUCH that I just want to please her more and more.
I say again, this does not have to hold true for all marriages, so everybody save it. I'm just referring to why I think the way I do...you're either welcome for the insight on my private way of living my marriage or you're more than welcome to just ignore it. Either way...hmm...I'm late for work again. LOL!!! Talk more later y'all!
Edited 5/19/2004 4:51 am ET ET by para1995
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Its okay for men to "look" sorta speak because we're visual creatures, but what happens when women "look"...right? Besides, unless women are like dogs that sniff each other's butts, I believe women are ALSO visual, we're all human and our sex drives are visual/psychological anything else if I'm not mistaken. I'm no scientist, but correct me, anyone, if my common logic on this is in error.
Ya know what is REALLY interesting though? All across the internet we read how men don't know their women because of the fake orgasms, hidden emotions, unsatisfied in bed, etc. So far so good? Okay. Here's the kicker, who said that women truly know their MEN??!! WHO SAID THAT??!! THINK about it, male message boards that I've read constantly complain about how proud the women are of their men for not watching porn or not fantasizing about this or not desiring such and such, yet those very men are all as ordinary as we are right here! Those men were complaining that they DO desire certain things but are too fearful of losing that pedestal stature by revealing their TRUE needs/wants from their women. So here's this female message board, yours truly of course, that has no shame at all for saying men don't know their women, buuuuuut....
Anyway, I think its important to remember the core point of this string. I don't think ANYone should feel that they "have to" become better for the spouse, but doing so, in some of our marriages anyway, is such a sign of respect/desire/love for that spouse if done with those intents...especially as opposed to feeling pressured to do it.
BIG difference between reading/learning to have longer lasting erections compared to getting surgery. BIG difference between gagging your eyeballs out to deepthroat compared to simply learning how to caress that extremely sensitive tip beyond his wildest imagination. THAT is my idea of learning to be better...as compared to learning to be perfect.
Also, I completely see a big difference between a man who is fantastically experienced with cunnilingus who 'chooses not to do it' compared to a man who knows nothing about it but chooses to learn and learn and learn. I see a big difference between a woman with no gag reflex who chooses to never deepthroat compared to a woman who's never done it but is sooo excited to learn it for her guy just to experience the thrill of is convulsive reactions.
There's a difference between a man who can naturally last longer than the woman during intercourse who chooses to hurry up for his own pleasure compared to one who loses control too quickly but reads and learns anyway in order to please his spouse more.
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE HEARD WOMEN SAY ITS NOT WHAT YOU HAVE BUT ITS "HOW YOU USE IT"???? Isn't "how you use it" partially the result of learning to be better for her??!!
Again, PLEASE correct me if I'm mistaken anybody, cause my wife & I are here more to learn, we're not qualified to teach. ;)
Anyway, I still say that learning to be better or trying to please the spouse more is NOT a chore, it is NOT a job or a task, but its another and many times more pleasurable part of expressing that ---selfless--- love for the spouse. Not every marriage should be like that, but then again, we're all entitled to our opinions. Just like many of you, the Mrs. & I are MUCH thankful for what we have and how we selflessly, yet respectfully & lovingly, treat each other and please other. I have the power of choice to please her my way or her way, and I have NO question that she loves my choices. RAOFL!!!!
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Robin
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