duration of intercourse

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
duration of intercourse
59
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 12:28am

I often read threads about men who orgasm too quickly during intercourse.

CL-Yasmin1967

May I have the serenity to accept what I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 5:43pm

Honey -

CL-Yasmin1967

May I have the serenity to accept what I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 5:55pm

>>Prolonging intercourse makes the man's pleasure last longer,too, <<.

CL-Yasmin1967

May I have the serenity to accept what I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 6:03pm

>>I was referring to the idea that men should be asking the WOMEN if us men being naturally less than "long enough" is good enough anymore, because its (if I'm not mistaken now) the WOMEN who have issue with us not lasting long enough. <<

You see, I'm wondering if women are expecting too much?

>>Still, I was a little surprised that you had an issue with some men who try to better themselves in bed via learning methods to last longer. <<

I have no issue at all with a man who wants to learn new techniques.

CL-Yasmin1967

May I have the serenity to accept what I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 6:07pm

Oh, I so agree with you on all your points Jeep!


For the life of me I cannot understand the rejection that some women speak of when their partner says "I'm too tired".

CL-Yasmin1967

May I have the serenity to accept what I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 7:00pm
Here is a specific that happened in my marriage that I think should remind people to keep a sense of humor when it comes to marital sex. My husband had a brief period of ED that on reflection seems to have been triggered by his physician telling him that his blood pressure pills could cause ED. Nevermind he had already been receiving this medication for two years without experiencing ED prior to learning they had this adverse effect. But he developed ED. Now here is the funny part. His ED was a partial ED, so to speak. He would obtain an erection but have trouble maintaining one. His erections would last long enough for me to orgasm but never long enough for him to. He felt bad about the ED. He would apologize for losing his erections. Finally after awhile, I reminded him that perhaps the ED he was experiencing wasn't as big a deal for me as it was for him considering he was still able to satisfy me. I think once he realized that I wasn't dissatisfied with our sex life, he was able to relax about the ED. It only lasted about 6 months and probably a part of that was due to his realization that he could satisfy me even if he had ED.

My point in this is for people to realize that sex is suppose to be adult fun. If we analyze it to death, it doesn't stay fun. The goal is to develop a sex life together that satisfies both partners. Which sex acts we perform and who does what for whom isn't as important as whether both partners feel their sexual needs are at the least being addressed and hopefully met. If my husband wants to research some technique he thinks would please me, then more power to him. But I'm satisfied with him doing exactly what he already does. He did recently start performing oral sex after 22 years of marriage. And he is good at it. Now do you think I should be analyzing how he got good at something supposedly the first time he attempted it????? lol lol lol lol....I think I'll just be grateful that he is good at it.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 8:02pm

>>My point in this is for people to realize that sex is suppose to be adult fun. If we analyze it to death, it doesn't stay fun. <<


Yes, yes, yes!!!

CL-Yasmin1967

May I have the serenity to accept what I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 9:08pm
WOW! Are you mad at guys today or something??? Whoa!

I'm curious now, I remember reading male posts about them putting their women first, but I really fail to recall any of those posts suggesting its or anything even close to that effect. "Misunderstood" comes to my mind, however...

I can only hope the ladies, and you, are careful not to accidentally pinch the guy posters too much between the "too good" and "too bad" line. If guys post, they are either "typical men" or they are bragging about how good they are? Is there ever going to be an in between? LOL! If so, I desperately need an example.

Very many times we've heard about how guys need to improve and be more sensitive and focus more on the women too. NOW we hear that when those very guys come along, its too much???...or that it must be a desire to be politically correct???

Will guys forever be branded as something? If it ain't this, then don't worry cause there's always that? The fact that these guys, ahem, whoever they are, are so happily involved MUST suggest SOMETHING "acceptable" about those guys, but I guess I'm just the type that would appreciate the focus being on THAT more than steering toward another negative to -brand- them with. Just my opinion.

BTW, , LOL, but some of us happen to please each other more often than others, it would appear...so is it really really REALLY necessary or even mature to sink to the level of THIS whenever we DO hear about those relationships?! I am TERRIBLY confused. If of you ladies don't like the way some men treat many of you, then why discourage positive male posting that will hopefully set the record straight and actually discourage any immature males that may be reading? Just who in the world posted that men claim to be robots for their wives without ANY thought for himself??? What did I miss???

I'm a manager and also an owner in town here with the greatest wife that pampers me like you wouldn't believe...I clearly don't deserve her and try my best to be the best for her. I'm too mature for this type of -label- game, but I'll play along by asking just how should guys post around here. They seem damned either way. I STILL look forward to reading posts from YOUR men so that we guys who are currently can . Nevertheless, so long as we're doing things right for our wives, then we probably shouldn't worry ourselves with unjustified judgement by internet strangers.

I truly believe that an "opinion" like yours is "the opinion that" many of you ladies are just jealous of what you read about what other women actually DO get from their men and love jumping online to psychologically justify your own situations. I think those two opinions go very hand in hand and I'd feel better to know that we're all shaking our heads at both, but as usual, I can't speak for the other guys.

So, other than our happy wives, perhaps we men will have some insight on a new string called "How males should/shouldn't post" or something, but I'm still getting the impression that there will always be something regardless...

...I reeeally hope I'm wrong about some of you...

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 9:57pm

Para darling....I wasn't thinking about you when I posted.

CL-Yasmin1967

May I have the serenity to accept what I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:26pm
Easy Gem, even through email I KNOW you know better, lol, but I still take issue with the views toward those who do claim they are 100% for the partner and nothing else.

I just simply don't think its 'helpful' for anyone around here to diss that selfless attitude that anyone claims to have. Who CARES if its bragging or not? Pat the lucky women on the back for having those guys if its true.

There's just too many negative stories about the bad guys to not take a moment and appreciate a good one or two. ANYONE claiming that being selfless is boring will certainly strike OTHERS out there as "suspicious" as well.

How many times do we hear that cute joke about women wanting "gingerbread men" instead of the 'pain' of having real men? LOL! Now we're hearing that sensitive, selfless men are boring???

Whew. Anyway, no worries, we know you better.

I'm crabby. Thought Mrs. Para would be home before I trudge off to work, now I won't see her till Sunday. Sigh! :(

c ya

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:48pm
If my husband wants to put my pleasure first, then more power to him. I find that to be an adorable trait. And theoretically I want to put his pleasure first. But truthfully when we are together, all that is going through my head is....this feels so good, lol. We don't have to work at sexually pleasing one another, it is as easy as play.

Robin